Sandra stared at the ice beneath her feet. Looking past her reflection, she saw the faint silhouette of a woman cradling a newborn in her arms and a man standing beside her. They looked so happy; Sandra almost couldn't take her eyes off them. She looked up to see her parents sitting at a patio table drinking something. Was it tea? They looked over and smiled as they waved, then continued their tea party.
It was a little cold out, but nothing Sandra wasn't used to. A small gust of wind went by, tousling her platinum blonde, waist length hair. She held up her hands to her face as she breathed into them to try to warm them up. She could see her breath as she did it. She tried to take a step toward her parents, but couldn't get traction on the ice. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't move. She stepped harder, hoping to dig her heel into the ice to help her fain traction. She only succeeded in creating a hairline fracture in the ice.
"I'm stuck!" She tried calling to them but they couldn't hear. She yelled as loud as she could, and it appeared she'd gotten their attention.
They gazed over at her for a moment, but simply smiled and waved. They resumed their conversation. Sandra wrapped her arms around herself, feeling stranded. She heard something scraping the ice. She turned around to see Jimmy. He was about the same distance away that her parents were, but in the opposite direction.
He was in a canoe, trying to row his way toward her, but his canoe was stuck in the ice.
"I'm coming for you, Sandra!" he called in his beautiful Gaelic accent. He was chopping at the ice as he tried to row.
That's when Sandra saw the cracks forming in the ice. They were originating where Jimmy was and they were creeping toward Sandra. She started to panic. "Stop!" she yelled, but didn't manage to yell loud enough, because he kept hacking at the ice.
"Jimmy, you're breaking the ice!" Sandra screamed, but to no avail.
She looked down as a large crack traced its way past her, appearing to split the silhouette right down the middle. She waved her arms at Jimmy trying to tell him to stop. She was still panicking. She looked back and forth from her parents to Jimmy and knew she wasn't going to get through to either party. Jimmy kept hitting the ice with his oar, and it seemed as though he didn't realize he wasn't getting anywhere. More cracks formed as Sandra searched for the happy silhouette. The silhouette was riddled with cracks that were getting larger by the second. They were inching toward her feet.
She kept trying to back away, but without traction, she couldn't move. She heard a crack, but it still startled her as the ice shattered. Just as she was submerged in icy cold water, Sandra's eyes flew open to the sound of her phone going off.
It was the twenty fifth day of her senior year in high school. The dream faded from her memory as she lay in bed for a few moments. She didn't want to get out of bed. She knew if she did that she'd have to deal with the accusations, the questions, the demands. Honestly, she didn't know how much fight she had left inside her. Someone knocked on the door.
"Time to get up, Sandra." Her mom said in her singsong voice as she continued down the hallway.
Sandra closed her eyes tight as her stomach cramped up. She put her hands on her stomach and tried to think of happy things. Sometimes she felt silly by doing it, but she felt that she could transfer her positive energy into wherever she was feeling pain and in doing so she'd overcome it. Pain was mental anyway, wasn't it?
Finally, after rolling out of bed, she looked in her vanity mirror and gave herself a disgusted look at how disheveled she looked. She picked up her brush from the vanity and brushed her hair until her hair was perfectly straight. Pulling some back from the front, she put a bobby pin a few inches back from her hairline to keep it out of her face.
Picking up her phone, she read the text message that woke her up, it was the same message every morning. "Wake up, Sunsine!" She smiled as she read it. After putting it down, she quickly applied her liquid foundation, eyeliner, and mascara. She studied her dark blue eyes for a few seconds before turning and walking to the closet. Hesitantly pulling out a jean skirt and a black tank top, she got dressed and sat on her bed to put her socks on. Without untying the laces, she slipped on her black and pink Reeboks.
She picked up her phone and put it in her skirt's back pocket as she walked out of her bedroom. Before pulling her door closed, she grabbed her purse hanging on the back. She walked down the hall to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Of course, it was locked.
"Gwen! Open the door!" She said sternly after pounding on the door.
"Obviously, I'm busy in here." Gwen retorted. Sandra could imagine her younger sister rolling her eyes as she paused in doing whatever it was that took her an hour every morning in the bathroom.
"Gwen, I just have to brush my teeth. Please." Sandra tried to keep her voice level. "It's not like you go to school anyway!" Sandra whispered just loud enough for Gwen to hear her through the door. Gwen opened the door and glowered at Sandra.
"We're fighting dirty, I see." She said accusingly, narrowing her dark brown eyes.
"Oh, come on. I'm not going to try to get you in trouble. I just have to be to school on time. You don't care." Sandra said meekly. She hated confrontation.
Gwen exhaled loudly as she rolled her eyes. "Oh, God, whatever. Use the bathroom." She brushed past Sandra without apologizing for bumping into her.
Sandra walked into the bathroom and picked up her toothbrush. Her phone buzzed. She took it out of her pocket and read the message.
"Ready when you are."
She squeezed the toothpaste onto the brush and let the water run over it for a few seconds before starting to brush her teeth. Her lips turned up into a small smile, in spite of everything that was going on. After rinsing her mouth with water, she lifted her chin up and gargled. Gargling always made her want to laugh. She wiped her face with the towel hanging on the wall and skipped downstairs.
"I made you some waffles," Her mom greeted her, holding a plate full of waffles toward her. Sandra's stomach rumbled as she said, "I'm really not hungry."
"You want a ride to school?" Her mom asked, ignoring Sandra's cold front.
"No. I want to walk." Grabbing her bag, she walked toward the door.
"You're leaving forty-five minutes earlier than usual!" Her mom said, confused.
"Well I have homework to catch up on." Sandra said before letting the front door slam behind her.
She walked down the street passing by all the other apartments on her street. As she got to the corner, Sandra spotted a green '94 Chrysler Lebaron. A wide smile spread across her face as she walked a little faster.
She almost skipped halfway across the street, flashing a beaming smile at the driver of the car. She pulled open the door and plopped down onto the seat, cautiously looking around to see if anyone was looking. She leaned over and kissed Jimmy on the lips. He had a bewildered smile as she pulled away from him.
"So, what exactly is the point of checking if the coast is clear after you've already gotten in the car?" He asked with a hint of laughter behind his words.
"I forgot to do it beforehand." Sandra said meekly as she shrugged her shoulders. Her cheeks turned pink as she lowered her gaze.
"You're so cute, darlin'." Jimmy said, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her again. "I brought breakfast." He said, pulling a Dunkin' Donuts bag from his lap. He handed it to her and she almost ripped open the bag as she pulled out the egg and cheese croissant breakfast sandwich. He handed her an iced coffee.
"French vanilla, extra cream, extra sugar; just the way you like it." Jimmy said smiling.
Sandra took the cup and gave him a sweet smile and sipped the coffee through the straw slowly at first, but was almost finished with the medium cup within five minutes. She leaned her seat back and laid back on her side. Then, she laid her head on her left hand. Jimmy looked at her and smiled. The sun wasn't finished rising yet, so it was still giving everything a splash of red and orange hues. Jimmy tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her on the forehead.
"How are you feeling today?" He asked her.
"I haven't gotten sick yet, but I know I will. It will probably be at the most inconvenient moment." She laughed as she said it.
"Murphy's law." Jimmy stated with a shrug of his shoulders. He reached to the back seat and pulled a small bag onto his lap. He pulled a camera out and pointed it at Sandra as he pushed the button. The flash didn't go off, but it made a clicking noise to confirm that the picture had been taken. It was an old camera, the kind that required film. It was all black with a white Hello Kitty and rhinestone stickies on the bottom left corner.
"You're eyes look almost purple today." Jimmy said softly, staring into her eyes. Sandra hesitated before speaking.
"Where'd you get the camera?" She asked, reaching out and taking the camera from his hand.
"From a pawn shop. It only cost me ten dollars, it included the film!"
He said, sounding proud of himself. "I thought you'd like it, so I bought it for you."
"Thank you." Sandra said, without taking her eyes off the camera. She held it up and snapped a picture of Jimmy. "So I can always remember you." She said before putting the camera into her purse.
"I don't plan on giving you any chance to forget me, darlin'." Jimmy said, brushing her cheek. He turned when they heard footsteps approaching the car.
"Here comes Katie." He said turning the key in the ignition.
Sandra pulled her seat up as the engine purred and saw Katie running toward the car from the opposite direction she had come from earlier this morning. They lived on opposite ends of the longest street in their apartment complex. Katie ran up to the passenger side and pulled open the door. She pushed Sandra's seat forward and climbed into the back seat.
"Good morning!" She chirped, pulling her straight brown hair back into a ponytail. "I was running a little late this morning, so I'll be finishing my morning routine in the car." She said, pulling her make up bag out of her backpack.
Jimmy put the car in drive and slowly pulled out onto the street.
"So, when are you going to tell me what your mom said? Do you feel like talking about it yet?" Katie asked anxiously as she clasped her medium sized hoop earrings into her ears.
"Not yet." Sandra sighed. She stared out the window as the buildings and houses passed by. Jimmy put his hand on her knee and drove with only one hand on the wheel. Sandra put her hand over his, but continued gazing out the window, holding back the tears that threatened to ruin her perfect mask.
Katie continued putting on makeup. Even as Jimmy pulled up to the front of the school, Katie asked him to pull over for a few minutes. They were still fifteen minutes early for school. Sandra always liked it that way.
It gave her time to organize her things and collect herself before the day actually started. Finally, Katie finished putting on her makeup. She teased her bangs with her fingers quickly before scooting over to get out of the car.
Sandra gave Jimmy a peck on the cheek before jumping out of the car and walking up the stairs to the front door of school. Jimmy always waited until she walked into school before driving away. He smiled as he watched his girlfriend and her best friend walk arm in arm through the large double doors.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Chapter 2
Jimmy pulled away and checked his cell phone as he turned the corner. He had a message from Vinny.
"You on your way yet?"
Without taking his eyes off the road for more than a second, Jimmy scrolled through the automatic messages and sent "yes". Within ten minutes he pulled up outside of Tony's Tires and More. He got out as a husky man came walking out of the garage. He stood at the entrance and folded his arms across his chest.
"About time you showed up. Did you have fun dropping your girlfriend off at kindergarten?" Vinny said laughing as Jimmy got to the door. They both walked in as Jimmy grabbed his work shirt from the hook on the wall and put it on over his white tanktop.
"You're an arse, I hope ya know." Jimmy said trying not to laugh. "She's almost a high school graduate." He said, defensively.
"And how old are you again?" Vinny asked, mockingly.
"If you must know, I'll be twenty two on October the thirty-first." Jimmy said as he picked up his wrench set. "Now, can we work, or are you going to just stand there jabbering on about my social life all day?"
Jimmy walked to the Camaro that was in the back of the garage.
"All I'm saying is America ain't like Ireland, Jimmy. You can't just date whoever you want. You can get in trouble for being with this chick." Vinny said, picking up the yellow hood.
"She wouldn't get me in trouble. Sandra's different than all the others." Jimmy began loosening some bolts.
"She wouldn't be the one that got you in trouble." Vinny said as he leaned in to pull a part out. "Just be careful man. I don't want to see you getting shipped back to Ireland."
Jimmy didn't say anything else. He submerged himself into his work for the rest of the day trying to think of nothing else.
Sandra fidgeted at her desk. She had all her supplies organized the way she liked them. She had her AP Calculus book opened to the lesson that was scheduled for the day with her notebook on the right side of the desk slightly overlapping her book. She had her pencil and pen at the top of the desk and her calculator on the left hand side of her book.
She took a deep breath and looked around as the class began filling up. Mr. Glarvin was the last person in, as usual. He shut the door behind him and immediately began his lesson. He got to the front of the classroom and began writing on the dry erase board that stretched across the wall.
"Today, we're going to learn some new formulas." He began writing a new formula on the board as Sandra gagged. Her hand shot to her mouth, but the whole class was staring at her.
"Are you alright, Sandra?" Mr. Glarvin asked, worried. She nodded her head. As he turned around to finish writing his formula, Sandra could feel her stomach turning again. She jumped up from her desk and scrambled out of the room.
Sandra went to the bathroom and threw up three times. She sat on the floor in front of the toilet. She didn't know how long she was in there. Class wasn't over because the bell hadn't gone off yet. The door swung open and slammed shut. She smiled when she heard a friendly voice.
"Are you okay?" It was the new student from France.
"Yes, I think I'm alright. Just way too embarrassed to go back to class." Sandra opened the stall door. Since she had gotten here, Sandra often found herself jealous of her. The new French girl was arguably one of the prettiest girls in the whole school. She had short dark brown hair that was naturally straight and smooth and she had grayish blue eyes.
"You're Sandra right?" The girl asked, sitting down in front of Sandra.
"Yes, I'm sorry, what's your name again?" Sandra asked, feeling rude.
"Imene," she started, before clarifying. "Pronounced, eeh men. Everyone I've met so far has a problem saying it."
"Nice to formally meet you, Imene." Sandra held her hand out. "After sitting next to you for almost a month." She laughed as Imene smiled and took her hand.
"So I am guessing you're pregnant?" Imene said, trying her best to overcome her French accent.
"That obvious, huh?" Sandra asked, letting a small laugh out.
"Don't worry. I told the class you went out for sushi last night and you think you got a bad piece." Imene said standing up. She held her hand out to help Sandra up.
"Thank you so much." Sandra said, taking her hand.
Sandra walked over to the sinks and rinsed her mouth out at least five times.
"Here." Imene said, handing Sandra a piece of mint gum. "Now, let's get back to class before the class realizes I'm lying!" Imene pulled Sandra out of the bathroom.
As she walked into the class, she felt everyone's eyes burning into her.
It was as if they knew all her secrets just by looking at her. She kept her gaze low and tried to sink into her chair. She hoped if she felt invisible she could be invisible. The only problem was she couldn't feel invisible when half the class wouldn't stop staring at her.
Imene handed her a paper and Sandra quickly realized it was the notes from the class. She flashed her a grateful smile and tried to pay attention to the rest of the lesson. Unfortunately, all she could think about was everything she didn't want to. Her mind wandered to when she told her parents.
It was the day before the first day of school. Sandra walked into her parents room and saw her mom laying alone on the bed. Sandra went and laid on her side beside her. She focused on the TV, trying not to seem too obvious. She wanted to tell her mom but was scared. She could feel her hands shaking, so she tucked them between her knees and curled up a little. She tilted her head up to look at her mom.
"Mom..." Sandra started.
"Yes?" Her mom responded, not taking her eyes off the TV.
Sandra panicked. She couldn't tell her yet.
"Here's the remote. I was laying on it." She said, handing her mom the remote.
"Thanks." Her mom said looking at her suspiciously.
After a few moments, Sandra couldn't take the tension.
"I'm pregnant." She blurted out, trying to keep herself from crying. Her whole body was shaking. After about a minute of silence Sandra said, "Mom?"
She looked at her mom and realized she was crying.
"I really thought you were smarter, Sandra." Her mom said. "You really must be the dumbest smart person I know."
She began to get louder and Sandra's dad came in and asked what was going on.
"Ask your daughter." Her mom said walking out of the room. She slammed the bathroom door. Sandra's father narrowed his eyes at her.
"I'm pregnant." Sandra almost whispered.
"How could you be so stupid?" He yelled at her.
Sandra got up and went back to her bedroom. Her dad stopped yelling at her and was now trying to calm her mom down. Sandra lay down in bed and stuffed her face into the pillow. The tears were streaming out of her eyes now. She rolled over and held the pillow over her face until she couldn't breathe. She wanted to suffocate herself. Her lungs were screaming for air and she didn't want to give them any.
She heard someone come into the room, but she ignored it. They sat on the edge of the bed and took the pillow out of her hands. It was her mom. The front door slammed shut followed by the roaring of a car's engine. Her mom wiped the last evidence of tears from her face before speaking.
"So what are you going to do?" She asked, trying not to sniffle.
"I don't know." Sandra answered.
"Well, I don't want to tell you to get an abortion because I don't want you to feel like the baby wouldn't be welcome here if you ever decided to keep it." Her mom said calmly.
"So don't." Sandra said without looking at her mom.
Her mom sat there for a moment, staring at Sandra. Sandra heard her take a breath as if she were trying not to cry. Her mom got up and walked briskly out of the room. Sandra put on her head phones and listened to her Linkin Park CD until she fell asleep.
Sandra woke up and it wasn't even dinner time yet. She looked at her phone and it was only four in the afternoon. Her mom came in and threw the cordless phone at her.
"Start calling clinics to make an appointment for an abortion." Her mom said coldly before walking out. She slammed the door behind her.
Sandra's stomach felt like it was being tied in knots. She had been blindsided by the one person she hadn't expected, the one person who seemed to have been slightly on her side. She didn't know what to do. She stared at the phone trying not to cry again. Her mom came back in.
"Have you called anyone?" She asked almost without emotion.
"I don't know any numbers." Sandra sniffled.
"Here." Her mom said handing her a list of numbers.
Sandra tried calling the first one, but they were already closed for the day.
"I think they're all going to be closed at this time." Sandra said, trying not to sound too happy.
"Try again tomorrow after school then." Her mom said snatching the phone out of her hand. "Go eat. Dinner's on the table."
Sandra was jolted back to reality when Imene elbowed her.
"So using this formula, Sandra, what is the function of eighty-two?" Mr. Glarvin asked, waiting patiently for an answer. Sandra hesitated trying to figure it out quickly in her head, but knew it would be impossible to do all the work in her head. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, she was saved by the bell.
"Okay class, remember to do all the problems on page one hundred fifty-seven. Have a good day!" He said as everyone pushed their way into the hallway. Almost immediately, Stacey was walking beside her.
"You on your way yet?"
Without taking his eyes off the road for more than a second, Jimmy scrolled through the automatic messages and sent "yes". Within ten minutes he pulled up outside of Tony's Tires and More. He got out as a husky man came walking out of the garage. He stood at the entrance and folded his arms across his chest.
"About time you showed up. Did you have fun dropping your girlfriend off at kindergarten?" Vinny said laughing as Jimmy got to the door. They both walked in as Jimmy grabbed his work shirt from the hook on the wall and put it on over his white tanktop.
"You're an arse, I hope ya know." Jimmy said trying not to laugh. "She's almost a high school graduate." He said, defensively.
"And how old are you again?" Vinny asked, mockingly.
"If you must know, I'll be twenty two on October the thirty-first." Jimmy said as he picked up his wrench set. "Now, can we work, or are you going to just stand there jabbering on about my social life all day?"
Jimmy walked to the Camaro that was in the back of the garage.
"All I'm saying is America ain't like Ireland, Jimmy. You can't just date whoever you want. You can get in trouble for being with this chick." Vinny said, picking up the yellow hood.
"She wouldn't get me in trouble. Sandra's different than all the others." Jimmy began loosening some bolts.
"She wouldn't be the one that got you in trouble." Vinny said as he leaned in to pull a part out. "Just be careful man. I don't want to see you getting shipped back to Ireland."
Jimmy didn't say anything else. He submerged himself into his work for the rest of the day trying to think of nothing else.
Sandra fidgeted at her desk. She had all her supplies organized the way she liked them. She had her AP Calculus book opened to the lesson that was scheduled for the day with her notebook on the right side of the desk slightly overlapping her book. She had her pencil and pen at the top of the desk and her calculator on the left hand side of her book.
She took a deep breath and looked around as the class began filling up. Mr. Glarvin was the last person in, as usual. He shut the door behind him and immediately began his lesson. He got to the front of the classroom and began writing on the dry erase board that stretched across the wall.
"Today, we're going to learn some new formulas." He began writing a new formula on the board as Sandra gagged. Her hand shot to her mouth, but the whole class was staring at her.
"Are you alright, Sandra?" Mr. Glarvin asked, worried. She nodded her head. As he turned around to finish writing his formula, Sandra could feel her stomach turning again. She jumped up from her desk and scrambled out of the room.
Sandra went to the bathroom and threw up three times. She sat on the floor in front of the toilet. She didn't know how long she was in there. Class wasn't over because the bell hadn't gone off yet. The door swung open and slammed shut. She smiled when she heard a friendly voice.
"Are you okay?" It was the new student from France.
"Yes, I think I'm alright. Just way too embarrassed to go back to class." Sandra opened the stall door. Since she had gotten here, Sandra often found herself jealous of her. The new French girl was arguably one of the prettiest girls in the whole school. She had short dark brown hair that was naturally straight and smooth and she had grayish blue eyes.
"You're Sandra right?" The girl asked, sitting down in front of Sandra.
"Yes, I'm sorry, what's your name again?" Sandra asked, feeling rude.
"Imene," she started, before clarifying. "Pronounced, eeh men. Everyone I've met so far has a problem saying it."
"Nice to formally meet you, Imene." Sandra held her hand out. "After sitting next to you for almost a month." She laughed as Imene smiled and took her hand.
"So I am guessing you're pregnant?" Imene said, trying her best to overcome her French accent.
"That obvious, huh?" Sandra asked, letting a small laugh out.
"Don't worry. I told the class you went out for sushi last night and you think you got a bad piece." Imene said standing up. She held her hand out to help Sandra up.
"Thank you so much." Sandra said, taking her hand.
Sandra walked over to the sinks and rinsed her mouth out at least five times.
"Here." Imene said, handing Sandra a piece of mint gum. "Now, let's get back to class before the class realizes I'm lying!" Imene pulled Sandra out of the bathroom.
As she walked into the class, she felt everyone's eyes burning into her.
It was as if they knew all her secrets just by looking at her. She kept her gaze low and tried to sink into her chair. She hoped if she felt invisible she could be invisible. The only problem was she couldn't feel invisible when half the class wouldn't stop staring at her.
Imene handed her a paper and Sandra quickly realized it was the notes from the class. She flashed her a grateful smile and tried to pay attention to the rest of the lesson. Unfortunately, all she could think about was everything she didn't want to. Her mind wandered to when she told her parents.
It was the day before the first day of school. Sandra walked into her parents room and saw her mom laying alone on the bed. Sandra went and laid on her side beside her. She focused on the TV, trying not to seem too obvious. She wanted to tell her mom but was scared. She could feel her hands shaking, so she tucked them between her knees and curled up a little. She tilted her head up to look at her mom.
"Mom..." Sandra started.
"Yes?" Her mom responded, not taking her eyes off the TV.
Sandra panicked. She couldn't tell her yet.
"Here's the remote. I was laying on it." She said, handing her mom the remote.
"Thanks." Her mom said looking at her suspiciously.
After a few moments, Sandra couldn't take the tension.
"I'm pregnant." She blurted out, trying to keep herself from crying. Her whole body was shaking. After about a minute of silence Sandra said, "Mom?"
She looked at her mom and realized she was crying.
"I really thought you were smarter, Sandra." Her mom said. "You really must be the dumbest smart person I know."
She began to get louder and Sandra's dad came in and asked what was going on.
"Ask your daughter." Her mom said walking out of the room. She slammed the bathroom door. Sandra's father narrowed his eyes at her.
"I'm pregnant." Sandra almost whispered.
"How could you be so stupid?" He yelled at her.
Sandra got up and went back to her bedroom. Her dad stopped yelling at her and was now trying to calm her mom down. Sandra lay down in bed and stuffed her face into the pillow. The tears were streaming out of her eyes now. She rolled over and held the pillow over her face until she couldn't breathe. She wanted to suffocate herself. Her lungs were screaming for air and she didn't want to give them any.
She heard someone come into the room, but she ignored it. They sat on the edge of the bed and took the pillow out of her hands. It was her mom. The front door slammed shut followed by the roaring of a car's engine. Her mom wiped the last evidence of tears from her face before speaking.
"So what are you going to do?" She asked, trying not to sniffle.
"I don't know." Sandra answered.
"Well, I don't want to tell you to get an abortion because I don't want you to feel like the baby wouldn't be welcome here if you ever decided to keep it." Her mom said calmly.
"So don't." Sandra said without looking at her mom.
Her mom sat there for a moment, staring at Sandra. Sandra heard her take a breath as if she were trying not to cry. Her mom got up and walked briskly out of the room. Sandra put on her head phones and listened to her Linkin Park CD until she fell asleep.
Sandra woke up and it wasn't even dinner time yet. She looked at her phone and it was only four in the afternoon. Her mom came in and threw the cordless phone at her.
"Start calling clinics to make an appointment for an abortion." Her mom said coldly before walking out. She slammed the door behind her.
Sandra's stomach felt like it was being tied in knots. She had been blindsided by the one person she hadn't expected, the one person who seemed to have been slightly on her side. She didn't know what to do. She stared at the phone trying not to cry again. Her mom came back in.
"Have you called anyone?" She asked almost without emotion.
"I don't know any numbers." Sandra sniffled.
"Here." Her mom said handing her a list of numbers.
Sandra tried calling the first one, but they were already closed for the day.
"I think they're all going to be closed at this time." Sandra said, trying not to sound too happy.
"Try again tomorrow after school then." Her mom said snatching the phone out of her hand. "Go eat. Dinner's on the table."
Sandra was jolted back to reality when Imene elbowed her.
"So using this formula, Sandra, what is the function of eighty-two?" Mr. Glarvin asked, waiting patiently for an answer. Sandra hesitated trying to figure it out quickly in her head, but knew it would be impossible to do all the work in her head. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, she was saved by the bell.
"Okay class, remember to do all the problems on page one hundred fifty-seven. Have a good day!" He said as everyone pushed their way into the hallway. Almost immediately, Stacey was walking beside her.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
chapter 3
"So how was your weekend? I went snowboarding this weekend and it was so fun!" She rambled on about her snowboarding trip and Sandra just listened as they walked to their lockers. Sandra, Stacey, and Katie's lockers were right beside each other. Katie had to bribe the former owner of the locker with a date just to get the locker next to Sandra's. Stacey kept talking about her trip while Sandra opened her locker.
"Sounds like you had a blast." Sandra said when she finished. Just then, Katie walked up to her locker.
"Hey Sandra!" She said excitedly. She looked over at Stacey. "Good morning Stacey." She said much less enthusiastically. Stacey threw her a quick wave as Sandra said bye and walked away. Stacey and Sandra had four out of five classes a day together.
"You really should have come! You would have had a lot of fun!" Stacey said, walking into their History class.
The rest of Sandra's day was like a blur. It went by slow, as usual, but by the end of each class it seemed that she couldn't remember anything she'd learned. At the end of the day, she met up with Katie to walk to softball practice.
Katie always made fun of the way Sandra looked in her softball sweats. She was laughing as they walked.
"So, are you going to play catch with me today?" Sandra asked, hopefully.
"I suck at softball! I have absolutely no coordination and you're asking me to play catch with you?" She said laughing.
"No one else on the team will play catch with me. They say I throw too fast." Sandra said, sadly.
"It's because you're better than them at some aspects of softball."
Katie said trying to make her feel better.
"I'm too good to be on JV and I'm not good enough to be on varsity. It sucks." Sandra said, sitting down on the bench and changing into her cleats.
"Big fish in a little pond, eh?" Sandra turned as she heard a familiar voice.
"Jimmy!" she cried, jumping up and wrapping her arms around his neck.
She locked her lips onto his until Katie cleared her throat.
"Uh, can you guys wait for another time to suck each other's faces off?" she asked, sounding slightly disgusted.
"I'll be waiting in the car, Love." Jimmy said as he pulled away. Sandra planted another softer kiss on his lips before letting him go.
"See you after practice!" She yelled, waving as he walked away. Katie sat down on the bench as the rest of the team trickled onto the field.
Sandra took her position as catcher as they played mock games. Sandra always had a lot of fun playing softball. It was one of the few things that could occupy her mind completely while she was playing.
After practice, Sandra called her mom before getting into Jimmy's car. She didn't answer, so Sandra left a message.
"Hey mom, it's Sandra. I'm going to Katie's house after school, so if you need me you know where to find me. I'll be eating dinner there, too."
Sandra hung up the phone as Jimmy threw her bag into the trunk of his car. Jimmy drove to Katie's house blasting the Dropkick Murphy's the whole way there. Sandra sat in back with Katie gossiping about Katie's new boyfriend.
"His name is Bill and he's so gorgeous!" Katie gushed.
"He has dark brown eyes and light brown hair. He's about five foot nine inches tall. I met him at the roller skating place Saturday night." She showed Sandra a picture she took with her cell phone.
"Oh, he's cute!" Sandra agreed. Jimmy reached back and snatched the phone out of her hand.
"Let me see what's going on back here." He said as he looked at the picture for a minute. "Eh, I'm still better looking." He said dismissively as he tossed the phone back to Sandra. Katie hit him over the head with her notebook, laughing.
"You're such a dork, Jimmy!" She laughed as they pulled up a few doors down from Katie's apartment. He parked on the street and they all walked to her house. As they walked in, Katie almost tripped over a small suitcase.
"Mom?" Katie called as Jimmy closed the door.
"Hey baby!" Katie's mom came running out of the kitchen, still in her flight attendant uniform. She had a small red apron over her uniform "I just got done baking cookies, come have some!" She beckoned them into the kitchen.
As they walked into the kitchen, Katie's mom was using a spatula to put the cookies from the cookie sheet onto a large plate. Katie and Sandra both hesitantly took a cookie. Katie took a small bite and tried not to make a bad face as she swallowed. Sandra stuffed the whole cookie in her mouth trying to eat it as quickly as possibly.
"These cookies are delicious!" Jimmy exclaimed as he took a second cookie.
Katie's mom's face lit up. "Why, thank you Jimmy. Have as many as you want." She took off her apron and hung it up on the wall.
"Yeah, mom. Your cookies are a lot better this time!" Katie tried to sound sincere.
As Katie's mom walked out of the room, Katie turned to Jimmy.
"Okay, you can stop eating the cookies now. We know they're horrible. My mom sucks at baking." Katie tried to take the handful of cookies he had. Jimmy pulled away.
"No, I really like them. Your mom put a lot of effort into making these and so what if they taste a little burnt?" Jimmy sounded as if he were lecturing the girls. "Maybe it's because I was brought up in the poor part of Dublin, but I've learned to treat homemade goods like treasure."
He stuffed another cookie into his mouth before Katie could rip it out of his hand. Katie's mom came back in a few minutes later.
"So, what have you girls been up to lately?" She asked, pulling a chair up to the island in the middle of the kitchen.
"Oh, you know. The usual." Sandra said, trying to keep her smile on.
"Any new boyfriends, Katie?" She asked, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
"Mom!" Katie exclaimed, embarrassed. "I don't want to talk to you about that. It's weird."
"Well, I just want to know when you're going to find a guy as sweet as Jimmy. I want grandkids someday you know!" She said, laughing. Katie's face turned bright red.
"Mom, I'm only seventeen. Shouldn't you be the one telling me to wait until I finish high school at least?" Katie asked, rolling her eyes.
"I'm not getting any younger, Kates. I want to be a fun grandma! How am I supposed to be fun if I'm too old to do anything?" She asked, getting up from her chair. Katie ignored her question.
"Why do you still have your flight attendant uniform on?" Katie asked, knowing the answer.
"Oh, I have another flight to catch tonight. You'll be fine, won't you?" She spoke as she walked toward the door to get her suitcase.
"Yeah, sure." Katie said, disappointedly.
"Well, I better get going! I should be back tomorrow morning. So, I'll see you when you get home from school?" She asked, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She proceeded to give Sandra a hug and kiss. As she walked by Jimmy she stopped.
"Don't think I'm going to leave you out!" She said as she gave him a hug.
"Have a good time, Mrs. Halloway!" Jimmy waved as he stuffed another cookie into his mouth.
"Love you kids!" She blew them a kiss before shutting the door.
"Oh God, my mom is so embarrassing!" Katie put her head down on the table. Sandra patted her on the back.
"I'd trade moms with you in a heartbeat." Sandra said, consolingly. "At least your mom wants you to be happy. My parents don't care as long as I go to college and make a lot of money to support them when they get old."
Katie lifted her head up. "But, does she have to be so annoying about it? I mean, she practically begs me to get pregnant all the time. Like when I have a kid it's going to be all about her." Katie jumped off the chair and walked over to the refrigerator. She got a glass of milk and sat back down. "On top of that, she's barely ever here!" Katie said between gulps.
"Being an American teenager is complicated, isn't it?" Jimmy asked sitting down in the chair next to Sandra.
"You have no idea." Both girls said in unison.
Later that night, when Sandra walked into her apartment, she felt like she was ambushed. Almost immediately, her mom came out of the kitchen asking if she called the clinic yet. Her dad came down the stairs, staring at her, waiting for an answer.
"I tried calling. No one answered." Sandra said quietly.
"You know, you're wasting time. It's obviously too late to call tonight, but if you don't do it soon it will be too late." Her mom scolded her, not moving. Sandra couldn't help but think, 'maybe I want it to be too late.'
"You'll call tomorrow." Her mom said, turning back to walk into the kitchen.
"Tomorrow I have school, and softball practice after that. I won't get done until at least four." Sandra stalled.
"Then the next day." Her mom said without hesitation.
"The next day is Saturday. The clinics won't be open." Sandra called after her.
"They'll be open until noon." Her dad interjected before heading back upstairs.
Sandra stood in the dining room, motionless for a few moments. She didn't know what to feel. She didn't know what to do. All of a sudden, she felt exhausted. She made her way to her room. She sat at her vanity and stared into the mirror. She found herself going into a dazed state.
She couldn't help but remember something someone once told her. You are what you stand up for. She couldn't remember who said it, but the words ran through her mind clear as day. She stared into the mirror wondering, 'what should I stand up for?' She felt lost. She picked up her phone and flipped it open. She realized it was midnight, what had she been doing for the past two hours? She dialed Jimmy's number. He answered in a groggy voice.
"Hello?"
"Jimmy, I'm scared." Sandra said, trying to keep her voice steady.
"Calm down, Love. What happened?" Jimmy sounded wide awake now.
"What should I do?" She asked, her voice cracking.
"Whatever you want. I don't want to force you to do anything." Jimmy said hesitantly.
"Well this is your problem, too!" Sandra exclaimed, trying to keep her voice low.
"I know, but I'll support you in whatever you do. You know that." Jimmy said defensively.
"How do you plan on supporting me? With that minimum wage job at that junkyard? You can barely afford to pay your rent on that studio apartment, nevermind all the money you shell out to keep that crappy car running!" Sandra was crying now.
"First of all, ten dollars an hour is hardly minimum wage. Second of all, it's not a junkyard, it's an autobody shop. And third of all, if I'm not good enough for ya then just get the bloody abortion and be done with me." He said, angrily.
"Fine!" Sandra slammed the phone shut and threw it into her closet. She got up and took her sneakers and skirt off and practically fell into bed. She didn't remember falling asleep, but the next thing she knew her mom was knocking on the door.
"Time to get up; don't make me come by a third time."
She lay in bed for a moment, thinking of her dream from the night before. She dreamed she was surrounded by faceless soldiers. They were in the middle of a war of some sort. She couldn't tell if they were men or women. She felt lost as she turned in a circle trying to find out where she was. Her eyes rested on a huge brick wall that her side was obviously trying to keep up.
Finally, she heard someone shouting. It was a woman's voice. Sandra looked in the direction of the woman shouting. She seemed to be the leader, the commander. "Reinforce those strongholds! If the wall falls then this fight is over!" Sandra heard the commander shout. As Sandra tried to see her face, the commander turned away from her. Then it was over.
Sandra finally got up and commenced her usual morning routine. She picked up her phone out of the closet and saw ten missed calls and five text messages. She deleted them without reading them. She walked downstairs and put her Old Navy hoodie on. She pulled the hood up as she walked out the door.
Before she was even at the end of her walkway, it started to downpour. Sandra didn't mind walking in the rain anyway. She got halfway down the street when she saw the oh-so-familiar Chrysler Lebaron. She just kept walking with her head down.
Jimmy could barely see out his windows because it was raining so hard. He saw a girl walking by, but wasn't completely sure it was Sandra. He wanted to at least apologize for snapping at her last night. He turned the key in the ignition and just as he was about to pull out onto the street, another car drove up and slowed down beside the girl. He recognized it as Sandra's mom's. When the car pulled away, Sandra was gone. He waited for another twenty minutes, just to make sure it was really her. He texted Katie to make sure she didn't need a ride either. When he didn't get a response in ten minutes, he decided to leave and go to work.
He pulled up un front of the garage. He sat there for a moment. When he looked out the windows of the car, he couldn't see anything. He felt secluded from the rest of the world. He didn't take his hands off the steering wheel. He squeezed it until his knuckles were white. He could feel himself being filled with anger, anger toward himself. He shouldn't have snapped at Sandra. She's pregnant, pregnant women are hormonal. He should have tried more to calm her down instead of yelling at her.
Now he didn't even know if she would talk to him again. How could he be so stupid? He punched his steering wheel as hard as he could. He leaned back in his seat and covered his face with his hands. He took a deep breath and was slightly startled when he heard a knock on the window. He looked over but could only barely see a shadow outside. He reached over and unlocked the door. The person opened the door and climbed inside. It was Vinny. He was soaked.
"What's going on, man?" He asked, sounding worried.
"I think I messed up." He said, putting his head down on the steering wheel. "Sandra called me last night asking me what to do and she started going on about how I wouldn't be able to support her so I snapped and told her to get the damn abortion and leave me alone."
"Wow." Vinny sounded surprised. He had his eyebrows raised in disbelief.
He exhaled sharply. "You think she's going to do it?"
"I don't know. She won't talk to me. She didn't answer any of my calls or messages. She completely ignored me this morning when I tried to drive her to school." Jimmy didn't pick his head up.
"Maybe it's better this way. You're better off with someone your own age anyway, man." Vinny said, putting his hand on Jimmy's shoulder.
"No," Jimmy started, shrugging Vinny's hand off his shoulder. "I'll never do better than Sandra. I'll never feel for anyone else what I feel for her." His eyes glistened as he picked his head up.
"Sounds like you had a blast." Sandra said when she finished. Just then, Katie walked up to her locker.
"Hey Sandra!" She said excitedly. She looked over at Stacey. "Good morning Stacey." She said much less enthusiastically. Stacey threw her a quick wave as Sandra said bye and walked away. Stacey and Sandra had four out of five classes a day together.
"You really should have come! You would have had a lot of fun!" Stacey said, walking into their History class.
The rest of Sandra's day was like a blur. It went by slow, as usual, but by the end of each class it seemed that she couldn't remember anything she'd learned. At the end of the day, she met up with Katie to walk to softball practice.
Katie always made fun of the way Sandra looked in her softball sweats. She was laughing as they walked.
"So, are you going to play catch with me today?" Sandra asked, hopefully.
"I suck at softball! I have absolutely no coordination and you're asking me to play catch with you?" She said laughing.
"No one else on the team will play catch with me. They say I throw too fast." Sandra said, sadly.
"It's because you're better than them at some aspects of softball."
Katie said trying to make her feel better.
"I'm too good to be on JV and I'm not good enough to be on varsity. It sucks." Sandra said, sitting down on the bench and changing into her cleats.
"Big fish in a little pond, eh?" Sandra turned as she heard a familiar voice.
"Jimmy!" she cried, jumping up and wrapping her arms around his neck.
She locked her lips onto his until Katie cleared her throat.
"Uh, can you guys wait for another time to suck each other's faces off?" she asked, sounding slightly disgusted.
"I'll be waiting in the car, Love." Jimmy said as he pulled away. Sandra planted another softer kiss on his lips before letting him go.
"See you after practice!" She yelled, waving as he walked away. Katie sat down on the bench as the rest of the team trickled onto the field.
Sandra took her position as catcher as they played mock games. Sandra always had a lot of fun playing softball. It was one of the few things that could occupy her mind completely while she was playing.
After practice, Sandra called her mom before getting into Jimmy's car. She didn't answer, so Sandra left a message.
"Hey mom, it's Sandra. I'm going to Katie's house after school, so if you need me you know where to find me. I'll be eating dinner there, too."
Sandra hung up the phone as Jimmy threw her bag into the trunk of his car. Jimmy drove to Katie's house blasting the Dropkick Murphy's the whole way there. Sandra sat in back with Katie gossiping about Katie's new boyfriend.
"His name is Bill and he's so gorgeous!" Katie gushed.
"He has dark brown eyes and light brown hair. He's about five foot nine inches tall. I met him at the roller skating place Saturday night." She showed Sandra a picture she took with her cell phone.
"Oh, he's cute!" Sandra agreed. Jimmy reached back and snatched the phone out of her hand.
"Let me see what's going on back here." He said as he looked at the picture for a minute. "Eh, I'm still better looking." He said dismissively as he tossed the phone back to Sandra. Katie hit him over the head with her notebook, laughing.
"You're such a dork, Jimmy!" She laughed as they pulled up a few doors down from Katie's apartment. He parked on the street and they all walked to her house. As they walked in, Katie almost tripped over a small suitcase.
"Mom?" Katie called as Jimmy closed the door.
"Hey baby!" Katie's mom came running out of the kitchen, still in her flight attendant uniform. She had a small red apron over her uniform "I just got done baking cookies, come have some!" She beckoned them into the kitchen.
As they walked into the kitchen, Katie's mom was using a spatula to put the cookies from the cookie sheet onto a large plate. Katie and Sandra both hesitantly took a cookie. Katie took a small bite and tried not to make a bad face as she swallowed. Sandra stuffed the whole cookie in her mouth trying to eat it as quickly as possibly.
"These cookies are delicious!" Jimmy exclaimed as he took a second cookie.
Katie's mom's face lit up. "Why, thank you Jimmy. Have as many as you want." She took off her apron and hung it up on the wall.
"Yeah, mom. Your cookies are a lot better this time!" Katie tried to sound sincere.
As Katie's mom walked out of the room, Katie turned to Jimmy.
"Okay, you can stop eating the cookies now. We know they're horrible. My mom sucks at baking." Katie tried to take the handful of cookies he had. Jimmy pulled away.
"No, I really like them. Your mom put a lot of effort into making these and so what if they taste a little burnt?" Jimmy sounded as if he were lecturing the girls. "Maybe it's because I was brought up in the poor part of Dublin, but I've learned to treat homemade goods like treasure."
He stuffed another cookie into his mouth before Katie could rip it out of his hand. Katie's mom came back in a few minutes later.
"So, what have you girls been up to lately?" She asked, pulling a chair up to the island in the middle of the kitchen.
"Oh, you know. The usual." Sandra said, trying to keep her smile on.
"Any new boyfriends, Katie?" She asked, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
"Mom!" Katie exclaimed, embarrassed. "I don't want to talk to you about that. It's weird."
"Well, I just want to know when you're going to find a guy as sweet as Jimmy. I want grandkids someday you know!" She said, laughing. Katie's face turned bright red.
"Mom, I'm only seventeen. Shouldn't you be the one telling me to wait until I finish high school at least?" Katie asked, rolling her eyes.
"I'm not getting any younger, Kates. I want to be a fun grandma! How am I supposed to be fun if I'm too old to do anything?" She asked, getting up from her chair. Katie ignored her question.
"Why do you still have your flight attendant uniform on?" Katie asked, knowing the answer.
"Oh, I have another flight to catch tonight. You'll be fine, won't you?" She spoke as she walked toward the door to get her suitcase.
"Yeah, sure." Katie said, disappointedly.
"Well, I better get going! I should be back tomorrow morning. So, I'll see you when you get home from school?" She asked, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She proceeded to give Sandra a hug and kiss. As she walked by Jimmy she stopped.
"Don't think I'm going to leave you out!" She said as she gave him a hug.
"Have a good time, Mrs. Halloway!" Jimmy waved as he stuffed another cookie into his mouth.
"Love you kids!" She blew them a kiss before shutting the door.
"Oh God, my mom is so embarrassing!" Katie put her head down on the table. Sandra patted her on the back.
"I'd trade moms with you in a heartbeat." Sandra said, consolingly. "At least your mom wants you to be happy. My parents don't care as long as I go to college and make a lot of money to support them when they get old."
Katie lifted her head up. "But, does she have to be so annoying about it? I mean, she practically begs me to get pregnant all the time. Like when I have a kid it's going to be all about her." Katie jumped off the chair and walked over to the refrigerator. She got a glass of milk and sat back down. "On top of that, she's barely ever here!" Katie said between gulps.
"Being an American teenager is complicated, isn't it?" Jimmy asked sitting down in the chair next to Sandra.
"You have no idea." Both girls said in unison.
Later that night, when Sandra walked into her apartment, she felt like she was ambushed. Almost immediately, her mom came out of the kitchen asking if she called the clinic yet. Her dad came down the stairs, staring at her, waiting for an answer.
"I tried calling. No one answered." Sandra said quietly.
"You know, you're wasting time. It's obviously too late to call tonight, but if you don't do it soon it will be too late." Her mom scolded her, not moving. Sandra couldn't help but think, 'maybe I want it to be too late.'
"You'll call tomorrow." Her mom said, turning back to walk into the kitchen.
"Tomorrow I have school, and softball practice after that. I won't get done until at least four." Sandra stalled.
"Then the next day." Her mom said without hesitation.
"The next day is Saturday. The clinics won't be open." Sandra called after her.
"They'll be open until noon." Her dad interjected before heading back upstairs.
Sandra stood in the dining room, motionless for a few moments. She didn't know what to feel. She didn't know what to do. All of a sudden, she felt exhausted. She made her way to her room. She sat at her vanity and stared into the mirror. She found herself going into a dazed state.
She couldn't help but remember something someone once told her. You are what you stand up for. She couldn't remember who said it, but the words ran through her mind clear as day. She stared into the mirror wondering, 'what should I stand up for?' She felt lost. She picked up her phone and flipped it open. She realized it was midnight, what had she been doing for the past two hours? She dialed Jimmy's number. He answered in a groggy voice.
"Hello?"
"Jimmy, I'm scared." Sandra said, trying to keep her voice steady.
"Calm down, Love. What happened?" Jimmy sounded wide awake now.
"What should I do?" She asked, her voice cracking.
"Whatever you want. I don't want to force you to do anything." Jimmy said hesitantly.
"Well this is your problem, too!" Sandra exclaimed, trying to keep her voice low.
"I know, but I'll support you in whatever you do. You know that." Jimmy said defensively.
"How do you plan on supporting me? With that minimum wage job at that junkyard? You can barely afford to pay your rent on that studio apartment, nevermind all the money you shell out to keep that crappy car running!" Sandra was crying now.
"First of all, ten dollars an hour is hardly minimum wage. Second of all, it's not a junkyard, it's an autobody shop. And third of all, if I'm not good enough for ya then just get the bloody abortion and be done with me." He said, angrily.
"Fine!" Sandra slammed the phone shut and threw it into her closet. She got up and took her sneakers and skirt off and practically fell into bed. She didn't remember falling asleep, but the next thing she knew her mom was knocking on the door.
"Time to get up; don't make me come by a third time."
She lay in bed for a moment, thinking of her dream from the night before. She dreamed she was surrounded by faceless soldiers. They were in the middle of a war of some sort. She couldn't tell if they were men or women. She felt lost as she turned in a circle trying to find out where she was. Her eyes rested on a huge brick wall that her side was obviously trying to keep up.
Finally, she heard someone shouting. It was a woman's voice. Sandra looked in the direction of the woman shouting. She seemed to be the leader, the commander. "Reinforce those strongholds! If the wall falls then this fight is over!" Sandra heard the commander shout. As Sandra tried to see her face, the commander turned away from her. Then it was over.
Sandra finally got up and commenced her usual morning routine. She picked up her phone out of the closet and saw ten missed calls and five text messages. She deleted them without reading them. She walked downstairs and put her Old Navy hoodie on. She pulled the hood up as she walked out the door.
Before she was even at the end of her walkway, it started to downpour. Sandra didn't mind walking in the rain anyway. She got halfway down the street when she saw the oh-so-familiar Chrysler Lebaron. She just kept walking with her head down.
Jimmy could barely see out his windows because it was raining so hard. He saw a girl walking by, but wasn't completely sure it was Sandra. He wanted to at least apologize for snapping at her last night. He turned the key in the ignition and just as he was about to pull out onto the street, another car drove up and slowed down beside the girl. He recognized it as Sandra's mom's. When the car pulled away, Sandra was gone. He waited for another twenty minutes, just to make sure it was really her. He texted Katie to make sure she didn't need a ride either. When he didn't get a response in ten minutes, he decided to leave and go to work.
He pulled up un front of the garage. He sat there for a moment. When he looked out the windows of the car, he couldn't see anything. He felt secluded from the rest of the world. He didn't take his hands off the steering wheel. He squeezed it until his knuckles were white. He could feel himself being filled with anger, anger toward himself. He shouldn't have snapped at Sandra. She's pregnant, pregnant women are hormonal. He should have tried more to calm her down instead of yelling at her.
Now he didn't even know if she would talk to him again. How could he be so stupid? He punched his steering wheel as hard as he could. He leaned back in his seat and covered his face with his hands. He took a deep breath and was slightly startled when he heard a knock on the window. He looked over but could only barely see a shadow outside. He reached over and unlocked the door. The person opened the door and climbed inside. It was Vinny. He was soaked.
"What's going on, man?" He asked, sounding worried.
"I think I messed up." He said, putting his head down on the steering wheel. "Sandra called me last night asking me what to do and she started going on about how I wouldn't be able to support her so I snapped and told her to get the damn abortion and leave me alone."
"Wow." Vinny sounded surprised. He had his eyebrows raised in disbelief.
He exhaled sharply. "You think she's going to do it?"
"I don't know. She won't talk to me. She didn't answer any of my calls or messages. She completely ignored me this morning when I tried to drive her to school." Jimmy didn't pick his head up.
"Maybe it's better this way. You're better off with someone your own age anyway, man." Vinny said, putting his hand on Jimmy's shoulder.
"No," Jimmy started, shrugging Vinny's hand off his shoulder. "I'll never do better than Sandra. I'll never feel for anyone else what I feel for her." His eyes glistened as he picked his head up.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
chapter 4
That day in work, Jimmy seemed sluggish. He dropped tools more than usual. Every so often, he'd just stand there, leaning over a car staring at the engine as if he were trying to see through it. He didn't take a lunch break and he worked well after his shift was over. Vinny kept trying to make him smile by telling him jokes or telling him about some of the girls he'd dated in the past. Nothing worked. All day he walked around with a blank, emotionless, almost hollow look on his face. Vinny even heard some customers whispering; asking if he'd recently suffered a loss. When a customer actually asked Vinny, he just said "Something like that."
Sandra couldn't concentrate all day in school. She felt like there was a fog surrounding her head. Her thoughts were scrambled. Imene kept trying to figure out what was wrong.
"Why won't you tell me?" Imene whispered, sounding desperate.
"Because there's nothing wrong." Sandra replied, faking a smile.
Imene leaned back in her chair and listened to Mr. Glarvin's lesson for a few moments.
"You know," She started, leaning toward Sandra. "This is a two hour long class and it's only twenty minutes into it. Not to mention our desks are pushed together, so I barely even have to reach to bug you all morning." She said, threatening Sandra.
"I really don't care." Sandra said, staring at her desk. In her head she added on to her statement, 'about anything anymore'.
Imene began her torture. Every time Sandra leaned over to write, Imene moved her paper. Sandra couldn't help but let a small laugh escape each time.
"Stop." Sandra said, trying to keep a straight face.
"Alright." Imene said, mockingly.
She then began poking her, knowing Sandra was extremely ticklish. Sandra jumped and tried to stop herself from laughing too loudly. She accidentally let the beginning of a shriek slip out before slapping her hand over her mouth. Mr. Glarvin turned and narrowed his eyes at the girls. They both tried not to smile as they began writing in their notebooks again.
After a few moments, Sandra ripped a piece of paper out of her notebook.
"I got into a fight with my boyfriend last night." She scribbled sloppily on the paper and slid it to the edge of her desk. Imene reached over and without taking her eyes off of Mr. Glarvin, pulled the paper slowly to the middle of her desk. She looked down to read it and immediately began writing. It seemed like only a few seconds went by before she slid it back to the middle of the two desks. Sandra slowly reached over and pulled it to her as she read the note.
“About the baby?”
She looked over at Imene and saw that she was looking at her. Sandra nodded her head as her eyes welled up. Imene reached over and put her hand over Sandra’s trying to console her. Sandra pulled her hand away as she began writing again.
“I woke him up in the middle of the night expecting him to solve my problems and then when he couldn’t, I flipped out on him and called him worthless. So he told me to get the abortion.” Her hand began shaking as she wrote. She slid it back over to Imene.
“Are you going to do it?” Imene wrote back.
Sandra simply shrugged her shoulders. She wiped a tear that began to fall from her eye. They both jumped when Mr. Glarvin called on them.
“Do you know the answer Sandra?” He asked, sounding agitated. When she didn’t answer he looked to Imene. “What about you?” When she didn’t answer he put the cover back on his dry erase marker. “I thought you wouldn’t know. You both have been barely paying attention all class. Since you can’t seem to pay attention to me, maybe you’ll find the principal more entertaining.” He waited until they picked up their bags and got up from their seats to resume his lesson.
“Any other distractions?” The girls heard him say as the door swung closed.
They sat beside each other in the chairs outside of the principal’s office. Imene looked over at Sandra.
“So, why don’t you just call him?” Imene asked.
“I feel like an idiot now. I completely flipped out on him for no reason. He deserves someone that will treat him better. Not someone who cracks at the slightest bit of pressure. Plus, what if I just gave him his chance to say what he really wanted? What if he doesn’t want the baby and I’m just making him feel some moral obligation to me?” She responded, almost talking to herself.
“It’s something you’ll never know unless you talk to him.” Imene said, brushing Sandra’s hair off her shoulder.
The assistant principal, Ms. Pelosi, came to the door.
“The principal is busy right now, so I will be taking care of you girls. Come with me, Sandra.” She said as she turned around and began to walk back into her office. Sandra got up and followed her. Ms. Pelosi motioned for her to stand in front of her desk. She sat behind her desk and pressed her forefinger and thumb against the bridge of her nose, before leaning forward onto the desk.
“I’ve got to be honest; I really don’t understand what’s going on here.” She began, shaking her head at Sandra. “For the past three years you’ve been here, not a peep, it was really looking like you were going to be valedictorian. Now, all of a sudden, you’re getting kicked out of class for bad behavior. I just received this month’s reports from all the teachers. You’re slipping, Sandra. It’s not even a full month into your senior year and already some teachers are worried that you may not pass.” Sandra inadvertently tuned her out.
She began thinking of Jimmy.
Did she love him? She didn’t know what love was, so how could she answer that? She couldn’t even give a clear answer on why she wanted to be with him. As far as she could tell, the only thing she was clinging to was the fact that he was the only one of any of her previous boyfriends who treated her with so much respect. She knew from the moment he asked her on their first date, no one would ever love her the way he would. He always considered Sandra before doing anything. He has always treated her far better than she ever had treated him or even could treat him. She knew she was unable to fully let anyone into a heart that had been broken so many times. There were always going to be holes in there, and Jimmy was always going to be falling through and finding his way back.
It wasn’t fair. He deserved someone who would love him as much as he loved them. He deserved to be made happy, not to be the one who was always trying to make someone else happy. Especially not someone who it seemed was only happy when things were going wrong. As much as she wanted to be with Jimmy she knew it was too selfish of her. She wanted to be with him because he loved her, not because she loved him. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? You’re supposed to be with somebody because you feel like your whole world would come tumbling down without them there, feeling like the moon and the stars shine brighter just because he’s walking next to you. Why couldn’t she feel that for him? Her thoughts were interrupted by Ms. Pelosi.
“Do you understand what I’m telling you, young lady?” She asked, looking over her bifocals at her.
“Yes, Ma’am” Sandra said, hoping she wasn’t asked anything specific.
“Alright, well you can wait outside my office until the bell rings and continue to your next class. I don’t want to see you in here again.” She said, getting up and following her to the door.
As they got to the door, Ms. Pelosi called Imene in and immediately turned around to go back to her desk. As Imene was walking toward Sandra she gave her a look as if to say, “What happened?” Sandra simply shook her head thinking, “You’ll know soon enough.”
When school was over, Sandra’s mom was waiting for her outside. She honked the horn as Sandra got to the bottom of the stairs, just in case she didn’t see her. Sandra saw her and hoped it would be a very quick ride home. As soon as she sat down and closed the door, she knew it wouldn’t be quick at all.
“How was class?” Her mom asked stiffly.
“It was alright,” Sandra said, feeling as though there were a huge pink elephant in the car with them. After a few moments of silence her mother spoke again.
“So, when we get home you can call a clinic.” She said, staring straight forward at the road.
Sandra didn’t know how to respond. She wanted to turn on the radio, but was much to scared to move.
“I decided I want to keep it.” Sandra said, hoping her mom would be willing to listen.
“When did you decide this?” Her mom asked, her voice sounding a tiny bit higher than usual.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot since I found out, and I guess I came to the decision today.” Sandra started feeling as though maybe her mother would listen. She knew she was wrong when her mother didn’t speak again until they got to the apartment. They pulled up outside the apartment and her mom got out and slammed the car door shut. She walked inside the house without even looking back to see if Sandra was behind her. Sandra walked in to hear her mother telling her father what was said in the car.
Her father looked at her as if she had just told him something ridiculous.
“What do you mean you want to keep it?” He scoffed.
“What else could it mean?” She asked him, her heart felt as if it were going to beat out of her chest.
“What about college? You have scholarships just waiting for you and you’re willing to just pass them by?” He asked, narrowing his eyes.
“I can do both.” Sandra said quietly.
“No,” He shook his head. “That’s out of the question. Go call a clinic and make an appointment. Now.” He said with finality before walking into the living room.
Sandra went upstairs and sat on her bed. She stared at the cordless phone that was sitting on her bedside table. She knew what she wanted to do and now it seemed that it wasn’t her choice anymore. She started to cry. She tried not to make a sound because she knew if her father heard her it would only make him angrier. He had always seen crying as a sign of weakness. Her mom came in a few minutes later and sat beside her. She began rubbing her back, trying to console her.
“Don’t you want to go to school and get a good education?” She asked. When Sandra didn’t answer her, she tried another route. “Do you love this guy? Is he going to stick around?” Her mom asked, sounding as if she cared.
“I don’t know.” Sandra whimpered. She just wanted her mom to leave. She knew her mom was only trying to convince her to do what they wanted her to do.
“How about this,” Her mom started. She stopped rubbing Sandra’s back, but kept her hand there. “Just make an appointment now, and when the time comes, if you don’t want to do it you don’t have to. This way, if you decide you want to, it won’t be too late.”
Sandra considered it for a moment. It sounded like a very reasonable request.
“Okay,” She said, reaching for the phone. She wiped the last of the tears from her face as the clinic picked up the phone.
When she hung up the phone, part of her felt relieved; relieved that she had done something. Whether it was for or against what she really wanted was irrelevant. She had taken some type of action. The other part of her regretted pushing the buttons on the phone and wanted to strangle the part of her that let her do it. Her mom stood up and hugged her tightly.
“I know you’ll do the right thing, Sandra!” Her mom said with a smile as she walked out of the room. Sandra wasn’t so sure about that statement. Sandra sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her feet up onto the bed. She was sitting indian style, holding onto her ankles. She sat like that just staring forward. She sat in a daze until her phone went off. It was a text message from Katie.
"So are you going to tell me what's going on, or are you just going to ignore me all day?"
Sandra let a small smile form on her lips as she responded.
"Can you come over?"
Within five minutes Sandra heard a knock at her door and a breathless Katie barged in. She collapsed on the bed and looked up at Sandra.
"Tell me... Everything!" Katie said between gasps.
Sandra couldn't concentrate all day in school. She felt like there was a fog surrounding her head. Her thoughts were scrambled. Imene kept trying to figure out what was wrong.
"Why won't you tell me?" Imene whispered, sounding desperate.
"Because there's nothing wrong." Sandra replied, faking a smile.
Imene leaned back in her chair and listened to Mr. Glarvin's lesson for a few moments.
"You know," She started, leaning toward Sandra. "This is a two hour long class and it's only twenty minutes into it. Not to mention our desks are pushed together, so I barely even have to reach to bug you all morning." She said, threatening Sandra.
"I really don't care." Sandra said, staring at her desk. In her head she added on to her statement, 'about anything anymore'.
Imene began her torture. Every time Sandra leaned over to write, Imene moved her paper. Sandra couldn't help but let a small laugh escape each time.
"Stop." Sandra said, trying to keep a straight face.
"Alright." Imene said, mockingly.
She then began poking her, knowing Sandra was extremely ticklish. Sandra jumped and tried to stop herself from laughing too loudly. She accidentally let the beginning of a shriek slip out before slapping her hand over her mouth. Mr. Glarvin turned and narrowed his eyes at the girls. They both tried not to smile as they began writing in their notebooks again.
After a few moments, Sandra ripped a piece of paper out of her notebook.
"I got into a fight with my boyfriend last night." She scribbled sloppily on the paper and slid it to the edge of her desk. Imene reached over and without taking her eyes off of Mr. Glarvin, pulled the paper slowly to the middle of her desk. She looked down to read it and immediately began writing. It seemed like only a few seconds went by before she slid it back to the middle of the two desks. Sandra slowly reached over and pulled it to her as she read the note.
“About the baby?”
She looked over at Imene and saw that she was looking at her. Sandra nodded her head as her eyes welled up. Imene reached over and put her hand over Sandra’s trying to console her. Sandra pulled her hand away as she began writing again.
“I woke him up in the middle of the night expecting him to solve my problems and then when he couldn’t, I flipped out on him and called him worthless. So he told me to get the abortion.” Her hand began shaking as she wrote. She slid it back over to Imene.
“Are you going to do it?” Imene wrote back.
Sandra simply shrugged her shoulders. She wiped a tear that began to fall from her eye. They both jumped when Mr. Glarvin called on them.
“Do you know the answer Sandra?” He asked, sounding agitated. When she didn’t answer he looked to Imene. “What about you?” When she didn’t answer he put the cover back on his dry erase marker. “I thought you wouldn’t know. You both have been barely paying attention all class. Since you can’t seem to pay attention to me, maybe you’ll find the principal more entertaining.” He waited until they picked up their bags and got up from their seats to resume his lesson.
“Any other distractions?” The girls heard him say as the door swung closed.
They sat beside each other in the chairs outside of the principal’s office. Imene looked over at Sandra.
“So, why don’t you just call him?” Imene asked.
“I feel like an idiot now. I completely flipped out on him for no reason. He deserves someone that will treat him better. Not someone who cracks at the slightest bit of pressure. Plus, what if I just gave him his chance to say what he really wanted? What if he doesn’t want the baby and I’m just making him feel some moral obligation to me?” She responded, almost talking to herself.
“It’s something you’ll never know unless you talk to him.” Imene said, brushing Sandra’s hair off her shoulder.
The assistant principal, Ms. Pelosi, came to the door.
“The principal is busy right now, so I will be taking care of you girls. Come with me, Sandra.” She said as she turned around and began to walk back into her office. Sandra got up and followed her. Ms. Pelosi motioned for her to stand in front of her desk. She sat behind her desk and pressed her forefinger and thumb against the bridge of her nose, before leaning forward onto the desk.
“I’ve got to be honest; I really don’t understand what’s going on here.” She began, shaking her head at Sandra. “For the past three years you’ve been here, not a peep, it was really looking like you were going to be valedictorian. Now, all of a sudden, you’re getting kicked out of class for bad behavior. I just received this month’s reports from all the teachers. You’re slipping, Sandra. It’s not even a full month into your senior year and already some teachers are worried that you may not pass.” Sandra inadvertently tuned her out.
She began thinking of Jimmy.
Did she love him? She didn’t know what love was, so how could she answer that? She couldn’t even give a clear answer on why she wanted to be with him. As far as she could tell, the only thing she was clinging to was the fact that he was the only one of any of her previous boyfriends who treated her with so much respect. She knew from the moment he asked her on their first date, no one would ever love her the way he would. He always considered Sandra before doing anything. He has always treated her far better than she ever had treated him or even could treat him. She knew she was unable to fully let anyone into a heart that had been broken so many times. There were always going to be holes in there, and Jimmy was always going to be falling through and finding his way back.
It wasn’t fair. He deserved someone who would love him as much as he loved them. He deserved to be made happy, not to be the one who was always trying to make someone else happy. Especially not someone who it seemed was only happy when things were going wrong. As much as she wanted to be with Jimmy she knew it was too selfish of her. She wanted to be with him because he loved her, not because she loved him. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? You’re supposed to be with somebody because you feel like your whole world would come tumbling down without them there, feeling like the moon and the stars shine brighter just because he’s walking next to you. Why couldn’t she feel that for him? Her thoughts were interrupted by Ms. Pelosi.
“Do you understand what I’m telling you, young lady?” She asked, looking over her bifocals at her.
“Yes, Ma’am” Sandra said, hoping she wasn’t asked anything specific.
“Alright, well you can wait outside my office until the bell rings and continue to your next class. I don’t want to see you in here again.” She said, getting up and following her to the door.
As they got to the door, Ms. Pelosi called Imene in and immediately turned around to go back to her desk. As Imene was walking toward Sandra she gave her a look as if to say, “What happened?” Sandra simply shook her head thinking, “You’ll know soon enough.”
When school was over, Sandra’s mom was waiting for her outside. She honked the horn as Sandra got to the bottom of the stairs, just in case she didn’t see her. Sandra saw her and hoped it would be a very quick ride home. As soon as she sat down and closed the door, she knew it wouldn’t be quick at all.
“How was class?” Her mom asked stiffly.
“It was alright,” Sandra said, feeling as though there were a huge pink elephant in the car with them. After a few moments of silence her mother spoke again.
“So, when we get home you can call a clinic.” She said, staring straight forward at the road.
Sandra didn’t know how to respond. She wanted to turn on the radio, but was much to scared to move.
“I decided I want to keep it.” Sandra said, hoping her mom would be willing to listen.
“When did you decide this?” Her mom asked, her voice sounding a tiny bit higher than usual.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot since I found out, and I guess I came to the decision today.” Sandra started feeling as though maybe her mother would listen. She knew she was wrong when her mother didn’t speak again until they got to the apartment. They pulled up outside the apartment and her mom got out and slammed the car door shut. She walked inside the house without even looking back to see if Sandra was behind her. Sandra walked in to hear her mother telling her father what was said in the car.
Her father looked at her as if she had just told him something ridiculous.
“What do you mean you want to keep it?” He scoffed.
“What else could it mean?” She asked him, her heart felt as if it were going to beat out of her chest.
“What about college? You have scholarships just waiting for you and you’re willing to just pass them by?” He asked, narrowing his eyes.
“I can do both.” Sandra said quietly.
“No,” He shook his head. “That’s out of the question. Go call a clinic and make an appointment. Now.” He said with finality before walking into the living room.
Sandra went upstairs and sat on her bed. She stared at the cordless phone that was sitting on her bedside table. She knew what she wanted to do and now it seemed that it wasn’t her choice anymore. She started to cry. She tried not to make a sound because she knew if her father heard her it would only make him angrier. He had always seen crying as a sign of weakness. Her mom came in a few minutes later and sat beside her. She began rubbing her back, trying to console her.
“Don’t you want to go to school and get a good education?” She asked. When Sandra didn’t answer her, she tried another route. “Do you love this guy? Is he going to stick around?” Her mom asked, sounding as if she cared.
“I don’t know.” Sandra whimpered. She just wanted her mom to leave. She knew her mom was only trying to convince her to do what they wanted her to do.
“How about this,” Her mom started. She stopped rubbing Sandra’s back, but kept her hand there. “Just make an appointment now, and when the time comes, if you don’t want to do it you don’t have to. This way, if you decide you want to, it won’t be too late.”
Sandra considered it for a moment. It sounded like a very reasonable request.
“Okay,” She said, reaching for the phone. She wiped the last of the tears from her face as the clinic picked up the phone.
When she hung up the phone, part of her felt relieved; relieved that she had done something. Whether it was for or against what she really wanted was irrelevant. She had taken some type of action. The other part of her regretted pushing the buttons on the phone and wanted to strangle the part of her that let her do it. Her mom stood up and hugged her tightly.
“I know you’ll do the right thing, Sandra!” Her mom said with a smile as she walked out of the room. Sandra wasn’t so sure about that statement. Sandra sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her feet up onto the bed. She was sitting indian style, holding onto her ankles. She sat like that just staring forward. She sat in a daze until her phone went off. It was a text message from Katie.
"So are you going to tell me what's going on, or are you just going to ignore me all day?"
Sandra let a small smile form on her lips as she responded.
"Can you come over?"
Within five minutes Sandra heard a knock at her door and a breathless Katie barged in. She collapsed on the bed and looked up at Sandra.
"Tell me... Everything!" Katie said between gasps.
chapter 5
"I don't even know where to start." Sandra said, talking to herself.
"Start off by telling me what your mom said!" Katie said, anxiously.
Sandra proceeded to tell her how her parents reacted the day she told them and how they had acted up to today. She couldn't help herself from crying. She didn't know if it was from the stress or the hormones, but she hated it just the same.
"So, your parents are forcing you to get an abortion?" Katie asked incredulously. "It should be your decision! It's not fair for them to just tell you how to live your life!" Katie sat up as she spoke almost passionately about Sandra's rights.
"Well, they aren't exactly forcing me. My mom said just to make the appointment and when the time comes, if I don't want to do it I don't have to." Sandra explained, half heartedly.
"Well I guess that's reasonable." Katie said sounding unsure. "It sounds like a trick to me though." She said, leaning back on her elbows.
"Well, right now I really don't have a choice. My English teacher figured out what was going on a couple weeks ago and she kept me after class. She told me that I probably wouldn't know what I really wanted to do until I was actually faced with the situation." Sandra explained.
"Well now that you put it that way, it does sound pretty reasonable. Just make sure you do what you want." She said laying back on the pillow. Sandra laid back next to her and told her about the fight with Jimmy.
"Oh my God! He really said that?" Katie asked in disbelief.
"Yepp." Sandra said, not saying anything else. They laid there in silence for about ten minutes.
"So are you going to call Jimmy?" Katie asked, hesitating.
"I don't know. I guess I'm just going to give him some space until I figure out what's going on." She said pulling her teddy bear into her arms and hugging it. Reaching to the foot of the bed, Sandra grabbed the remote control to her CD player and turned it on. The Fray's lyrics filled the room as the two girls lay there in silence.
Sandra spent the whole weekend at Katie's. Katie's mom knew there was something wrong, but didn't want to pry. On Saturday, Katie's mom brought them to the movies. She offered to sit in a different row but the girls insisted that she sit with them.
Sandra really liked Katie's mom. Katie's mom had been in her life so long, Sandra considered her a second mother. She was easy to talk to and most of the time tried to act like "one of the girls". Katie was always annoyed by it, but Sandra didn't mind.
"So, what do you girls want for dinner?" Katie's mom asked as they got into the car after the movie.
"How about spaghetti and meatballs?" Sandra suggested.
"Okay, want to come to the store with me?" She asked, hopefully. The girls agreed to go, so they stopped at Walmart on the way home.
"Hey mom, do you mind if we look around at the clothes while you get the groceries?" Katie asked before adding, "Please, please, please?"
"Alright," Her mom said sounding a little disappointed. "I'll come get you when I'm ready to get in line."
Katie and Sandra began looking through the clothes and picking random articles of clothing out.
"Oh my God! You should wear this!" Katie exclaimed as she held up a white button up shirt with ruffles on the front of the shirt and at the bottom of each sleeve.
"Mahhhvelous!" Sandra laughed. "And this for you!" She said, holding up a neon orange body suit. The two girls doubled over laughing. They continued to pick out ridiculous outfits for each other. After about ten minutes of that, Katie gasped.
"Look at this dress! Seriously!" It was a pink sundress with large white polka dots. It had spaghetti straps and appeared to come to a few inches above the knee. "You have to try it on!" Katie urged, looking for Sandra's size. Finally, she pulled it out. Katie pulled Sandra to the dressing room and practically pushed her into the room as she waited outside. After a few minutes, Katie's mom walked up.
"Where's Sandra?" She asked, looking around. Then, Sandra came out of the dressing room. Katie's jaw dropped.
"You have to get that dress! It fits you perfectly!" She exclaimed, smiling.
"I don't have any money." Sandra said sadly.
"Go change and give me the dress." Katie's mom ordered her. With a smile, Sandra did as she was told. When she came out, Katie's mom held her hand out, waiting for Sandra to hand her the dress.
"Are you sure?" Sandra asked hesitantly.
"Positive." She responded, grabbing the dress from her.
When they got home, Katie's mom went straight to the kitchen. The girls followed behind. Katie grabbed two pots from the pot rack and put them on the stove. Katie's mom instructed them on what to do. Katie diced up the peppers while Sandra mixed the hamburger meat for meatballs. Katie's mom kept the conversation going for a while as she put the water on to boil.
"You know what singer I like?" She asked, and without waiting for a response, she answered. "Taylor Swift. She is just such a talented girl."
"Oh, she's my favorite!" Sandra agreed enthusiastically.
"Sometimes I feel like she writes her songs just for me!" Katie chimed in.
"I know!" Sandra said, excitedly.
Katie's mom ran out of the kitchen, excited about something. She came running back in with Katie's portable radio. She rummaged through the Walmart shopping bag and pulled out a CD. She put it on and the girls realized it was the new Taylor Swift CD. All three of them began singing along to the songs.
"Taylor Swift makes everything better." Sandra stated smiling.
Katie and her mom both nodded in agreement. When they finished preparing the food to be cooked, the three of them began dancing around the kitchen while waiting for the food to cook. Sandra had such a good time she almost forgot about all of her problems.
When the pasta was done boiling, the meat sauce was done simmering and the meatballs were done baking, Katie's mom served the two girls. She joked around, acting like the girls were at a five star Italian restaurant. She spoke in her best Italian, which was very poor, but none of them knew the difference anyway.
"Ah, Signorina!" She exclaimed to Katie as she scooped some pasta on her plate. "Spaghetti per ti!" and then she turned to Sandra. "E per ti!"
Both girls were laughing. After she finished serving the girls, Katie's mom brought the garlic bread and sat down with her own plate. For a few minutes, the room was quiet except for the scraping of forks against plates and the Taylor Swift CD quietly playing in the background. Sandra broke the silence.
"This is really good spaghetti!" She said as she finished a mouthful.
"Thank you, Sandra. I may not be very skilled at cooking many things, but I must admit that my spaghetti and meatballs dish is pretty amazing." She laughed as she finished her statement.
"I'll agree with that!" Katie said with a mouthful of food.
"So when is your next flight?" Sandra asked.
"Unfortunately, tomorrow morning." Katie's mom answered sounding sad. Katie didn't say anything, but her face dropped a little as if she were disappointed.
"But, the good news is they gave me two free tickets to Puerto Rico, first class, and all next week off!" Katie's mom announced, pulling two plane tickets out of her purse.
"Oh my God!" Katie jumped up, grabbing the tickets. "You're so awesome, mom! How did you get these?" She asked, studying the tickets.
"I was attendant of the month for three months in a row, so they gave me a bonus." Her mom said, modestly.
"What about school?" Katie asked, her smile fading.
"You'll be alright with missing a few days, won't you?" Her mom asked, putting the tickets back in her purse.
"I promise to do well in school!" Katie said excitedly, hugging her mom. "Too bad you can't come, Sandra." Katie said disappointedly.
"I tried to get three tickets, but they said I was pushing my luck even getting two." Katie's mom explained.
"It's alright." Sandra said consolingly. "My parents probably wouldn't let me go anyway." She said, stabbing the spaghetti with her fork.
After dinner, the girls helped clean up. Katie's mom had to go to bed early because her flight left at six the next morning. Katie and Sandra went to Katie's room after saying goodnight. Katie ended up painting Sandra's nails as they sat there talking.
"So tell me more about Bill!" Sandra said, picking out a sparkly pink nail polish.
"Well," Katie started with a wide smile on her face. "He's really nice. I fell down at the roller skating place and he helped me up. He's a skater boy, too!" She said as she painted Sandra's index finger.
"After he helped me up, he asked if he could buy me a soda. We sat there talking almost the whole night. We talked about everything, it seems like! Then toward the end of the night I said I wanted to do another round on the skate floor, so we did. Right after we started skating, he held my hand!" Katie squealed. "He held my hand the whole time around, and I kind of stumbled at the end. He caught me, but I had already fallen on my knee. He brought me over near the bathroom and he wiped it off with a wet paper towel and got a bandaid for me. Then, he walked me outside to wait for my mom and he kissed me. We made out for like a good ten minutes before we heard my mom honking!" Katie laughed as she said it excitedly.
"Oh my gosh! You're so lucky! You get all the action, sometimes I wish I were single so I could go out and make out with guys! So is that as far as he went, just making out?" Sandra asked with her eyebrow raised, almost knowing the answer.
"Pretty much." Katie said blushing, then she lightly slapped Sandra's arm. "And by the way, technically, you are single right now!"
"No details, huh?" Sandra asked, disappointedly, as Katie finished her left hand. She ignored her second statement.
"Fine, the only details I'll tell you is that, yes he went further. He put his hand up my shirt, but over the bra." She said matter of factly, trying not to look too embarrassed. " And, he is the best kisser ever!" She said, emphasizing the word "ever". "He made my knees feel weak."
"Wow, that good huh?" Sandra asked, blowing on her nails.
"Tomorrow we should hang out with him and I'll tell him to bring one of his friends for you!" Katie suggested excitedly.
Sandra agreed before asking her next question. "So when did he ask you out?"
"He asked me out last Sunday." She said, dipping the brush back into the nail polish. "He took me out to Texas Roadhouse!" She exclaimed.
"Oh, wow!" Sandra said, surprised. "Texas Roadhouse is one of my favorites!"
"He is so sweet! He wouldn't let me pay for anything. He's only one year older. I've hung out with him like four times this week." Katie went on, almost glowing.
After the girls finished painting each other's nails they went to bed. Sandra didn't exactly dream, but images of Jimmy kept flashing in front of her. She felt as if she were watching a slideshow. With every picture that flashed through her mind, it seemed that the pictures got dimmer and dimmer until eventually, there were no more pictures. She started to worry, then she felt as if she having anxiety attack. She wanted to look for the pictures and start them again, but she couldn't move. She woke up to Katie talking on the phone. Looking at the digital clock on the bedside table, she realized it was already past eleven in the morning.
"Well, I was just thinking that maybe you and I could hang out again today." Sandra heard Katie ask in her most flirty voice.
Sandra got up and ran her fingers through her hair as she followed where Katie's voice was. She found her in the dining room downstairs. She was sitting at the dining room table on the house phone. The smile that was on her face when Sandra first came downstairs seemed to be fading.
"But, I thought you said," Katie started but was apparently cut off.
"So you were basically just," Katie began again, but with the same result. Sandra could see her eyes welling up.
"Well, yes I guess just friends is okay." Katie said trying to keep her voice steady. Sandra couldn't take anymore of this. She pulled the phone out of Katie's hand and hung it up on the wall.
"You didn't have to just sit there while he made you feel like crap. You deserve better." Sandra explained as she sat down next to her. Katie's eyes filled up and overflowed. She began crying and she leaned into Sandra as Sandra put her arms around her.
"I thought he was different. He really seemed different." Katie cried.
"They always do seem different." Sandra said.
"How could I be so stupid? I thought he wanted to be serious. He said all he was looking for was a quick lay and that it was taking too long to get into my pants. Then he said he still wants to be my friend." Katie said, sounding astounded.
"He's just a perv. That's all any guy wants. They want no strings and quick satisfaction. You're too good for him anyway." Sandra consoled her as she brushed her fingers through Katie's hair. "You'll find better I know it."
"You really think so?" Katie said, picking her head up to look at Sandra.
"I know so." Sandra said smiling.
"Okay." Katie said, standing up and smiling a little. "Let's get ready and go out! My mom left us forty dollars with this note." Katie said, walking toward the stairs. Sandra looked at the note. It read 'hey girls, didn't want to wake you. Do something fun today! See you later tonight. xOx' and she signed 'Mom' through a heart on the bottom.
Sandra went upstairs to get her stuff ready while Katie was taking a shower. She pulled her hygiene bag out of her backpack and went to the closet to get a towel. Sandra heard the shower turn off, but knew Katie would take a few minutes longer to brush her teeth and get dressed. Katie came out of the bathroom brushing her wavy brown hair.
"Took you long enough!" Sandra joked as she walked past Katie.
Sandra took longer than usual in the shower. For about ten minutes, she stood under the stream of water with her eyes closed. She tried not to think of anything but the warm water hitting her face. Finally, she turned off the water and dried herself off with the towel. With the towel wrapped around her, she wiped the mirror with her hand and brushed her long blonde hair.
After Sandra finished brushing her teeth, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was beginning to curl up and she tried brushing it straight. The curls kept popping back up, so she grabbed the hair dryer and dried her hair. After straightening her hair and putting on her makeup, she came out of the bathroom to get dressed.
As Katie locked the front door of her apartment, Sandra tried to think of where they could go. It was beginning to frustrate her because everywhere she thought of to go reminded her of Jimmy somehow. She almost suggested the carnival, but it made her think of the ferris wheel.
That was where they first kissed. It was memorable to her because they got stuck at the top and Sandra began to worry. She was almost in tears and nothing Jimmy said would calm her down, so he pulled her face toward his and kissed her. When he pulled away from her, Sandra stared at him, dazed. Then the ferris wheel began to move.
Then she thought of going to the beach. The beach reminded Sandra of Jimmy because it was where they were first introduced. Sandra went to the beach with Katie and they saw Katie's older cousin Vinny. They sat with Vinny and he introduced them to all of his friends. He called Jimmy 'the Mick.'
Next, Sandra almost suggested just driving around, but then she realized that it was Jimmy that always drove. She was about to say they should go get some pizza at Papa Gino's, but it reminded her of when Jimmy used to let her throw the dough in the air when he worked there. Place after place went through Sandra's mind, and place after place was rejected with a memory of Jimmy. 'Damn him! Why did he have to be so spontaneous?' Sandra thought as she realized he was always suggesting new things to try. Finally, she thought of probably the only thing he had never brought her to.
"Let's go play pool!" Sandra suggested excitedly.
It was about a thirty minute walk to get to the pool hall. It was an arcade during the day and a bar at night. If you were under eighteen and didn't get in before eight p.m., they wouldn't let you in. Sandra had never gone there with Jimmy, she'd never seen him there, and he never told her stories about when he went there, so in theory, she wouldn't be reminded of him.
The girls got there at three in the afternoon. The first thing they did after walking in was rent a locker to leave their jackets in. While they were standing at the locker, Sandra noticed Katie checking out a boy standing kind of close to them.
"Go talk to him." Sandra said, nudging her.
"No!" Katie giggled. "I'm too shy." Katie said informatively.
"Oh whatever." Sandra rolled her eyes as she slammed the locker door shut and pulled out the key.
"So we should get something to eat first because we didn't eat before we left and I'm starving!" Sandra said emphatically.
"Okay, so a late lunch. Or early dinner. What would you call that? Dinch, Supunch, Linner?" Katie began to list off possible combinations of the two words.
"Who cares!" Sandra cried, laughing, as she pulled Katie toward the snack counter.
They ordered two hamburgers and a large side of fries. As they were sitting at the table waiting for the food, Sandra saw the boy Katie was checking out. He was walking by the table and looking at Katie. When Sandra looked at Katie she realized Katie was staring back with a smirk on her face.
"You little slut!" Sandra joked, taking a sip of her Dr. Pepper.
"What?" Katie asked, feigning innocence.
"I'll bet you anything that you're going to make out with him by the end of the night." Sandra said, almost daring Katie.
"Oh, please, you don't know me!" Katie said, using a fake southern accent. "Don't judge me!"
Sandra laughed as the waitress put the food down on the table. The girls didn't talk much as they ate. Sandra noticed that at least three times, the boy from earlier walked by the table. Every time, she'd look at Katie, who would be pretending she didn't notice him.
After they ate, Katie went to the games counter to rent a pool table. She gave him ten dollars, which covered two hours. Katie and Sandra set the table up, arguing about the placement of the balls and who would go first. Finally, Sandra gave in and let Katie break.
They tried to play a game by the general rules, but began to make up their own rules as they played. By the start of the second game, both girls were laughing so hard they could barely shoot straight. At the end of the second game, the boy that had been walking by them every so often walked up to the table.
"Hey I'm Greg." He said, leaning against the pool table next to Katie.
"Hi." Katie answered with a wide smile on her face.
Sandra laughed quietly to herself as Katie giggled. She thought if Katie smiled any wider her face would split in half. Katie's face seemed to be glowing. Sandra thought it was cute when Katie was attracted to a guy because Katie acted like a completely different person around them.
"Would you mind if me and my friend over there played pool with you?" He asked, looking at both girls. He pointed at another boy standing by the snack counter waiting on a drink.
"Not at all!" Katie said with no hesitation.
He went to talk to his friend as Katie and Sandra finished their game. As the girls set the table up, Sandra laughed.
"What are you laughing at?" Katie asked with an unsure smile.
"You're just so cute when you're around cute guys. You get all bubbly." Sandra explained.
"I can't help it! I get so nervous, and you know I laugh and smile when I get nervous." Katie said, pouting.
Before Sandra could respond, she saw Greg and his friend walking toward them. They each had a pool stick in their hands. She thought Greg's friend was alright looking, but couldn't help but feel as if she would be betraying Jimmy by giving him a chance.
"So, I figured maybe we could play mixed teams. Me and you against Tim and your friend." Greg said to Katie as he got to the table.
"Sure." Katie agreed, trying not to smile as wide as before. "Oh, by the way, this is Sandra. She's newly single." Katie added almost in a singsong voice.
Greg and Tim both smiled as they said hi to Sandra. Tim walked around the table to stand with Sandra as Greg began speaking softly to Katie. Sandra was so immersed in her effort to hear what Greg was saying that she almost missed what Tim had said to her.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Sandra asked, turning to look at him.
"I asked if you come here often." He asked, then added, "Are you okay? You seem distracted."
"Oh, I'm fine. We come here every once in a while, but not very often." Sandra answered his question quickly.
"Oh, that's cool." He said, trying to keep her interested in him, but failing. There was a short awkward silence between the two before Greg spoke aloud.
"Okay, me and Katie will break. We'll play stripes and solids." He said, sounding as if he played pool a lot.
"So, how old are you guys?" Katie asked aloud.
"We're eighteen." Greg answered.
"What about you?" Tim added, looking at Sandra.
"We're seventeen." She said quietly.
Sandra began to loosen up as the night progressed. She tried not to think of Jimmy, but if she wasn't actively having a conversation, she would catch herself thinking of him. At one point she caught herself smiling, thinking about some of the sweet things he'd done recently.
Greg and Tim ended up paying for two more hours with the pool table and also bought dinner. Sandra noticed that Katie was flirting with Greg more and more as she got more comfortable. She knew Tim tried to flirt with her, but for some reason she felt no attraction to him. She felt as if there were no spark.
At about eight o'clock, they finished playing pool. Greg tried to impress Katie by getting her a stuffed animal from the claw machine. It took him an hour in addition to about thirty dollars to finally hold on to a penguin stuffed animal.
"It's so cute!" Katie thanked him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "It's my first penguin stuffed animal! I think I'll name him Gregory."
Greg put his arm around Katie's shoulders as they started walking. They walked a few feet in front of Sandra and Tim. Tim walked beside Sandra, but not too close. She could hear Katie giggling as Greg whispered things to her. Tim was quiet for a while.
"He's a lucky guy." Tim finally broke the silence.
"Greg? I don't think he realizes what he's getting into with Katie." Sandra laughed, knowing Katie was very emotional.
"No, I meant the guy that's been occupying your mind all night. I see the way you smile every once in a while, and if there's one thing I've learned about girls, it's the way a girl smiles when she's thinking about a guy." He said, looking at his hands.
"Yeah, well he used to be. I think he may have lost his four leaf clover, though, because lately he hasn't seemed so lucky."
Tim didn't respond, almost reading Sandra's mind that she really didn't want him to. She wanted some tranquility to think. By the time they reached Katie's house it was almost ten thirty. They sat on Katie's tiny front porch for a while. Katie brought out a bowl of chips and soda for everyone.
"It's a little cold out here." Greg said, scooting closer to Katie.
"Yeah, it's not as bad as usual for this time of year, though." Katie said, completely oblivious to his hint.
Tim sat in a lawn chair and quietly sipped his soda. Every so often, he'd add a funny comment or remark to something someone said. Even though she was surrounded by people, Sandra felt lonely. She felt as if she weren't complete. She tried to laugh and pay attention to what was going on, but as she got tired, her emotions got the best of her. She caught herself staring at the can of soda feeling almost numb. Finally, at eleven, Greg and Tim got up to leave.
"I had fun." Greg said, looking at Katie. "Can I see you tomorrow?"
"No." Katie put on the most serious face she could muster. She hesitated before adding, "I'm going to Puerto Rico tomorrow for the week. But you can see me next Monday." Katie said with her sweet smile.
"It's a date." Greg said, giving Katie a hug.
Greg said goodbye to Sandra. Tim waved to both girls as they began to walk away.
"Oh my God!" Katie cried when they were out of ear's reach. "He's absolutely perfect!"
"Every guy you meet is perfect until you get to know them." Sandra said, bursting Katie's bubble.
"Whatever. Don't be all grumpy with me because you're upset about losing your boyfriend." Katie crossed her arms across her chest, giving Sandra an attitude.
"You're right." Sandra said defeatedly. "I'm sorry. I have to go though. My parents are going to flip that I'm coming home so late." Sandra gave Katie a hug before turning to walk away.
"I'll write you an email everyday, okay?" Katie called before Sandra got too far.
"Okay, have fun!" Sandra turned and walked backward as she waved, putting on her best smile.
"Start off by telling me what your mom said!" Katie said, anxiously.
Sandra proceeded to tell her how her parents reacted the day she told them and how they had acted up to today. She couldn't help herself from crying. She didn't know if it was from the stress or the hormones, but she hated it just the same.
"So, your parents are forcing you to get an abortion?" Katie asked incredulously. "It should be your decision! It's not fair for them to just tell you how to live your life!" Katie sat up as she spoke almost passionately about Sandra's rights.
"Well, they aren't exactly forcing me. My mom said just to make the appointment and when the time comes, if I don't want to do it I don't have to." Sandra explained, half heartedly.
"Well I guess that's reasonable." Katie said sounding unsure. "It sounds like a trick to me though." She said, leaning back on her elbows.
"Well, right now I really don't have a choice. My English teacher figured out what was going on a couple weeks ago and she kept me after class. She told me that I probably wouldn't know what I really wanted to do until I was actually faced with the situation." Sandra explained.
"Well now that you put it that way, it does sound pretty reasonable. Just make sure you do what you want." She said laying back on the pillow. Sandra laid back next to her and told her about the fight with Jimmy.
"Oh my God! He really said that?" Katie asked in disbelief.
"Yepp." Sandra said, not saying anything else. They laid there in silence for about ten minutes.
"So are you going to call Jimmy?" Katie asked, hesitating.
"I don't know. I guess I'm just going to give him some space until I figure out what's going on." She said pulling her teddy bear into her arms and hugging it. Reaching to the foot of the bed, Sandra grabbed the remote control to her CD player and turned it on. The Fray's lyrics filled the room as the two girls lay there in silence.
Sandra spent the whole weekend at Katie's. Katie's mom knew there was something wrong, but didn't want to pry. On Saturday, Katie's mom brought them to the movies. She offered to sit in a different row but the girls insisted that she sit with them.
Sandra really liked Katie's mom. Katie's mom had been in her life so long, Sandra considered her a second mother. She was easy to talk to and most of the time tried to act like "one of the girls". Katie was always annoyed by it, but Sandra didn't mind.
"So, what do you girls want for dinner?" Katie's mom asked as they got into the car after the movie.
"How about spaghetti and meatballs?" Sandra suggested.
"Okay, want to come to the store with me?" She asked, hopefully. The girls agreed to go, so they stopped at Walmart on the way home.
"Hey mom, do you mind if we look around at the clothes while you get the groceries?" Katie asked before adding, "Please, please, please?"
"Alright," Her mom said sounding a little disappointed. "I'll come get you when I'm ready to get in line."
Katie and Sandra began looking through the clothes and picking random articles of clothing out.
"Oh my God! You should wear this!" Katie exclaimed as she held up a white button up shirt with ruffles on the front of the shirt and at the bottom of each sleeve.
"Mahhhvelous!" Sandra laughed. "And this for you!" She said, holding up a neon orange body suit. The two girls doubled over laughing. They continued to pick out ridiculous outfits for each other. After about ten minutes of that, Katie gasped.
"Look at this dress! Seriously!" It was a pink sundress with large white polka dots. It had spaghetti straps and appeared to come to a few inches above the knee. "You have to try it on!" Katie urged, looking for Sandra's size. Finally, she pulled it out. Katie pulled Sandra to the dressing room and practically pushed her into the room as she waited outside. After a few minutes, Katie's mom walked up.
"Where's Sandra?" She asked, looking around. Then, Sandra came out of the dressing room. Katie's jaw dropped.
"You have to get that dress! It fits you perfectly!" She exclaimed, smiling.
"I don't have any money." Sandra said sadly.
"Go change and give me the dress." Katie's mom ordered her. With a smile, Sandra did as she was told. When she came out, Katie's mom held her hand out, waiting for Sandra to hand her the dress.
"Are you sure?" Sandra asked hesitantly.
"Positive." She responded, grabbing the dress from her.
When they got home, Katie's mom went straight to the kitchen. The girls followed behind. Katie grabbed two pots from the pot rack and put them on the stove. Katie's mom instructed them on what to do. Katie diced up the peppers while Sandra mixed the hamburger meat for meatballs. Katie's mom kept the conversation going for a while as she put the water on to boil.
"You know what singer I like?" She asked, and without waiting for a response, she answered. "Taylor Swift. She is just such a talented girl."
"Oh, she's my favorite!" Sandra agreed enthusiastically.
"Sometimes I feel like she writes her songs just for me!" Katie chimed in.
"I know!" Sandra said, excitedly.
Katie's mom ran out of the kitchen, excited about something. She came running back in with Katie's portable radio. She rummaged through the Walmart shopping bag and pulled out a CD. She put it on and the girls realized it was the new Taylor Swift CD. All three of them began singing along to the songs.
"Taylor Swift makes everything better." Sandra stated smiling.
Katie and her mom both nodded in agreement. When they finished preparing the food to be cooked, the three of them began dancing around the kitchen while waiting for the food to cook. Sandra had such a good time she almost forgot about all of her problems.
When the pasta was done boiling, the meat sauce was done simmering and the meatballs were done baking, Katie's mom served the two girls. She joked around, acting like the girls were at a five star Italian restaurant. She spoke in her best Italian, which was very poor, but none of them knew the difference anyway.
"Ah, Signorina!" She exclaimed to Katie as she scooped some pasta on her plate. "Spaghetti per ti!" and then she turned to Sandra. "E per ti!"
Both girls were laughing. After she finished serving the girls, Katie's mom brought the garlic bread and sat down with her own plate. For a few minutes, the room was quiet except for the scraping of forks against plates and the Taylor Swift CD quietly playing in the background. Sandra broke the silence.
"This is really good spaghetti!" She said as she finished a mouthful.
"Thank you, Sandra. I may not be very skilled at cooking many things, but I must admit that my spaghetti and meatballs dish is pretty amazing." She laughed as she finished her statement.
"I'll agree with that!" Katie said with a mouthful of food.
"So when is your next flight?" Sandra asked.
"Unfortunately, tomorrow morning." Katie's mom answered sounding sad. Katie didn't say anything, but her face dropped a little as if she were disappointed.
"But, the good news is they gave me two free tickets to Puerto Rico, first class, and all next week off!" Katie's mom announced, pulling two plane tickets out of her purse.
"Oh my God!" Katie jumped up, grabbing the tickets. "You're so awesome, mom! How did you get these?" She asked, studying the tickets.
"I was attendant of the month for three months in a row, so they gave me a bonus." Her mom said, modestly.
"What about school?" Katie asked, her smile fading.
"You'll be alright with missing a few days, won't you?" Her mom asked, putting the tickets back in her purse.
"I promise to do well in school!" Katie said excitedly, hugging her mom. "Too bad you can't come, Sandra." Katie said disappointedly.
"I tried to get three tickets, but they said I was pushing my luck even getting two." Katie's mom explained.
"It's alright." Sandra said consolingly. "My parents probably wouldn't let me go anyway." She said, stabbing the spaghetti with her fork.
After dinner, the girls helped clean up. Katie's mom had to go to bed early because her flight left at six the next morning. Katie and Sandra went to Katie's room after saying goodnight. Katie ended up painting Sandra's nails as they sat there talking.
"So tell me more about Bill!" Sandra said, picking out a sparkly pink nail polish.
"Well," Katie started with a wide smile on her face. "He's really nice. I fell down at the roller skating place and he helped me up. He's a skater boy, too!" She said as she painted Sandra's index finger.
"After he helped me up, he asked if he could buy me a soda. We sat there talking almost the whole night. We talked about everything, it seems like! Then toward the end of the night I said I wanted to do another round on the skate floor, so we did. Right after we started skating, he held my hand!" Katie squealed. "He held my hand the whole time around, and I kind of stumbled at the end. He caught me, but I had already fallen on my knee. He brought me over near the bathroom and he wiped it off with a wet paper towel and got a bandaid for me. Then, he walked me outside to wait for my mom and he kissed me. We made out for like a good ten minutes before we heard my mom honking!" Katie laughed as she said it excitedly.
"Oh my gosh! You're so lucky! You get all the action, sometimes I wish I were single so I could go out and make out with guys! So is that as far as he went, just making out?" Sandra asked with her eyebrow raised, almost knowing the answer.
"Pretty much." Katie said blushing, then she lightly slapped Sandra's arm. "And by the way, technically, you are single right now!"
"No details, huh?" Sandra asked, disappointedly, as Katie finished her left hand. She ignored her second statement.
"Fine, the only details I'll tell you is that, yes he went further. He put his hand up my shirt, but over the bra." She said matter of factly, trying not to look too embarrassed. " And, he is the best kisser ever!" She said, emphasizing the word "ever". "He made my knees feel weak."
"Wow, that good huh?" Sandra asked, blowing on her nails.
"Tomorrow we should hang out with him and I'll tell him to bring one of his friends for you!" Katie suggested excitedly.
Sandra agreed before asking her next question. "So when did he ask you out?"
"He asked me out last Sunday." She said, dipping the brush back into the nail polish. "He took me out to Texas Roadhouse!" She exclaimed.
"Oh, wow!" Sandra said, surprised. "Texas Roadhouse is one of my favorites!"
"He is so sweet! He wouldn't let me pay for anything. He's only one year older. I've hung out with him like four times this week." Katie went on, almost glowing.
After the girls finished painting each other's nails they went to bed. Sandra didn't exactly dream, but images of Jimmy kept flashing in front of her. She felt as if she were watching a slideshow. With every picture that flashed through her mind, it seemed that the pictures got dimmer and dimmer until eventually, there were no more pictures. She started to worry, then she felt as if she having anxiety attack. She wanted to look for the pictures and start them again, but she couldn't move. She woke up to Katie talking on the phone. Looking at the digital clock on the bedside table, she realized it was already past eleven in the morning.
"Well, I was just thinking that maybe you and I could hang out again today." Sandra heard Katie ask in her most flirty voice.
Sandra got up and ran her fingers through her hair as she followed where Katie's voice was. She found her in the dining room downstairs. She was sitting at the dining room table on the house phone. The smile that was on her face when Sandra first came downstairs seemed to be fading.
"But, I thought you said," Katie started but was apparently cut off.
"So you were basically just," Katie began again, but with the same result. Sandra could see her eyes welling up.
"Well, yes I guess just friends is okay." Katie said trying to keep her voice steady. Sandra couldn't take anymore of this. She pulled the phone out of Katie's hand and hung it up on the wall.
"You didn't have to just sit there while he made you feel like crap. You deserve better." Sandra explained as she sat down next to her. Katie's eyes filled up and overflowed. She began crying and she leaned into Sandra as Sandra put her arms around her.
"I thought he was different. He really seemed different." Katie cried.
"They always do seem different." Sandra said.
"How could I be so stupid? I thought he wanted to be serious. He said all he was looking for was a quick lay and that it was taking too long to get into my pants. Then he said he still wants to be my friend." Katie said, sounding astounded.
"He's just a perv. That's all any guy wants. They want no strings and quick satisfaction. You're too good for him anyway." Sandra consoled her as she brushed her fingers through Katie's hair. "You'll find better I know it."
"You really think so?" Katie said, picking her head up to look at Sandra.
"I know so." Sandra said smiling.
"Okay." Katie said, standing up and smiling a little. "Let's get ready and go out! My mom left us forty dollars with this note." Katie said, walking toward the stairs. Sandra looked at the note. It read 'hey girls, didn't want to wake you. Do something fun today! See you later tonight. xOx' and she signed 'Mom' through a heart on the bottom.
Sandra went upstairs to get her stuff ready while Katie was taking a shower. She pulled her hygiene bag out of her backpack and went to the closet to get a towel. Sandra heard the shower turn off, but knew Katie would take a few minutes longer to brush her teeth and get dressed. Katie came out of the bathroom brushing her wavy brown hair.
"Took you long enough!" Sandra joked as she walked past Katie.
Sandra took longer than usual in the shower. For about ten minutes, she stood under the stream of water with her eyes closed. She tried not to think of anything but the warm water hitting her face. Finally, she turned off the water and dried herself off with the towel. With the towel wrapped around her, she wiped the mirror with her hand and brushed her long blonde hair.
After Sandra finished brushing her teeth, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was beginning to curl up and she tried brushing it straight. The curls kept popping back up, so she grabbed the hair dryer and dried her hair. After straightening her hair and putting on her makeup, she came out of the bathroom to get dressed.
As Katie locked the front door of her apartment, Sandra tried to think of where they could go. It was beginning to frustrate her because everywhere she thought of to go reminded her of Jimmy somehow. She almost suggested the carnival, but it made her think of the ferris wheel.
That was where they first kissed. It was memorable to her because they got stuck at the top and Sandra began to worry. She was almost in tears and nothing Jimmy said would calm her down, so he pulled her face toward his and kissed her. When he pulled away from her, Sandra stared at him, dazed. Then the ferris wheel began to move.
Then she thought of going to the beach. The beach reminded Sandra of Jimmy because it was where they were first introduced. Sandra went to the beach with Katie and they saw Katie's older cousin Vinny. They sat with Vinny and he introduced them to all of his friends. He called Jimmy 'the Mick.'
Next, Sandra almost suggested just driving around, but then she realized that it was Jimmy that always drove. She was about to say they should go get some pizza at Papa Gino's, but it reminded her of when Jimmy used to let her throw the dough in the air when he worked there. Place after place went through Sandra's mind, and place after place was rejected with a memory of Jimmy. 'Damn him! Why did he have to be so spontaneous?' Sandra thought as she realized he was always suggesting new things to try. Finally, she thought of probably the only thing he had never brought her to.
"Let's go play pool!" Sandra suggested excitedly.
It was about a thirty minute walk to get to the pool hall. It was an arcade during the day and a bar at night. If you were under eighteen and didn't get in before eight p.m., they wouldn't let you in. Sandra had never gone there with Jimmy, she'd never seen him there, and he never told her stories about when he went there, so in theory, she wouldn't be reminded of him.
The girls got there at three in the afternoon. The first thing they did after walking in was rent a locker to leave their jackets in. While they were standing at the locker, Sandra noticed Katie checking out a boy standing kind of close to them.
"Go talk to him." Sandra said, nudging her.
"No!" Katie giggled. "I'm too shy." Katie said informatively.
"Oh whatever." Sandra rolled her eyes as she slammed the locker door shut and pulled out the key.
"So we should get something to eat first because we didn't eat before we left and I'm starving!" Sandra said emphatically.
"Okay, so a late lunch. Or early dinner. What would you call that? Dinch, Supunch, Linner?" Katie began to list off possible combinations of the two words.
"Who cares!" Sandra cried, laughing, as she pulled Katie toward the snack counter.
They ordered two hamburgers and a large side of fries. As they were sitting at the table waiting for the food, Sandra saw the boy Katie was checking out. He was walking by the table and looking at Katie. When Sandra looked at Katie she realized Katie was staring back with a smirk on her face.
"You little slut!" Sandra joked, taking a sip of her Dr. Pepper.
"What?" Katie asked, feigning innocence.
"I'll bet you anything that you're going to make out with him by the end of the night." Sandra said, almost daring Katie.
"Oh, please, you don't know me!" Katie said, using a fake southern accent. "Don't judge me!"
Sandra laughed as the waitress put the food down on the table. The girls didn't talk much as they ate. Sandra noticed that at least three times, the boy from earlier walked by the table. Every time, she'd look at Katie, who would be pretending she didn't notice him.
After they ate, Katie went to the games counter to rent a pool table. She gave him ten dollars, which covered two hours. Katie and Sandra set the table up, arguing about the placement of the balls and who would go first. Finally, Sandra gave in and let Katie break.
They tried to play a game by the general rules, but began to make up their own rules as they played. By the start of the second game, both girls were laughing so hard they could barely shoot straight. At the end of the second game, the boy that had been walking by them every so often walked up to the table.
"Hey I'm Greg." He said, leaning against the pool table next to Katie.
"Hi." Katie answered with a wide smile on her face.
Sandra laughed quietly to herself as Katie giggled. She thought if Katie smiled any wider her face would split in half. Katie's face seemed to be glowing. Sandra thought it was cute when Katie was attracted to a guy because Katie acted like a completely different person around them.
"Would you mind if me and my friend over there played pool with you?" He asked, looking at both girls. He pointed at another boy standing by the snack counter waiting on a drink.
"Not at all!" Katie said with no hesitation.
He went to talk to his friend as Katie and Sandra finished their game. As the girls set the table up, Sandra laughed.
"What are you laughing at?" Katie asked with an unsure smile.
"You're just so cute when you're around cute guys. You get all bubbly." Sandra explained.
"I can't help it! I get so nervous, and you know I laugh and smile when I get nervous." Katie said, pouting.
Before Sandra could respond, she saw Greg and his friend walking toward them. They each had a pool stick in their hands. She thought Greg's friend was alright looking, but couldn't help but feel as if she would be betraying Jimmy by giving him a chance.
"So, I figured maybe we could play mixed teams. Me and you against Tim and your friend." Greg said to Katie as he got to the table.
"Sure." Katie agreed, trying not to smile as wide as before. "Oh, by the way, this is Sandra. She's newly single." Katie added almost in a singsong voice.
Greg and Tim both smiled as they said hi to Sandra. Tim walked around the table to stand with Sandra as Greg began speaking softly to Katie. Sandra was so immersed in her effort to hear what Greg was saying that she almost missed what Tim had said to her.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Sandra asked, turning to look at him.
"I asked if you come here often." He asked, then added, "Are you okay? You seem distracted."
"Oh, I'm fine. We come here every once in a while, but not very often." Sandra answered his question quickly.
"Oh, that's cool." He said, trying to keep her interested in him, but failing. There was a short awkward silence between the two before Greg spoke aloud.
"Okay, me and Katie will break. We'll play stripes and solids." He said, sounding as if he played pool a lot.
"So, how old are you guys?" Katie asked aloud.
"We're eighteen." Greg answered.
"What about you?" Tim added, looking at Sandra.
"We're seventeen." She said quietly.
Sandra began to loosen up as the night progressed. She tried not to think of Jimmy, but if she wasn't actively having a conversation, she would catch herself thinking of him. At one point she caught herself smiling, thinking about some of the sweet things he'd done recently.
Greg and Tim ended up paying for two more hours with the pool table and also bought dinner. Sandra noticed that Katie was flirting with Greg more and more as she got more comfortable. She knew Tim tried to flirt with her, but for some reason she felt no attraction to him. She felt as if there were no spark.
At about eight o'clock, they finished playing pool. Greg tried to impress Katie by getting her a stuffed animal from the claw machine. It took him an hour in addition to about thirty dollars to finally hold on to a penguin stuffed animal.
"It's so cute!" Katie thanked him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "It's my first penguin stuffed animal! I think I'll name him Gregory."
Greg put his arm around Katie's shoulders as they started walking. They walked a few feet in front of Sandra and Tim. Tim walked beside Sandra, but not too close. She could hear Katie giggling as Greg whispered things to her. Tim was quiet for a while.
"He's a lucky guy." Tim finally broke the silence.
"Greg? I don't think he realizes what he's getting into with Katie." Sandra laughed, knowing Katie was very emotional.
"No, I meant the guy that's been occupying your mind all night. I see the way you smile every once in a while, and if there's one thing I've learned about girls, it's the way a girl smiles when she's thinking about a guy." He said, looking at his hands.
"Yeah, well he used to be. I think he may have lost his four leaf clover, though, because lately he hasn't seemed so lucky."
Tim didn't respond, almost reading Sandra's mind that she really didn't want him to. She wanted some tranquility to think. By the time they reached Katie's house it was almost ten thirty. They sat on Katie's tiny front porch for a while. Katie brought out a bowl of chips and soda for everyone.
"It's a little cold out here." Greg said, scooting closer to Katie.
"Yeah, it's not as bad as usual for this time of year, though." Katie said, completely oblivious to his hint.
Tim sat in a lawn chair and quietly sipped his soda. Every so often, he'd add a funny comment or remark to something someone said. Even though she was surrounded by people, Sandra felt lonely. She felt as if she weren't complete. She tried to laugh and pay attention to what was going on, but as she got tired, her emotions got the best of her. She caught herself staring at the can of soda feeling almost numb. Finally, at eleven, Greg and Tim got up to leave.
"I had fun." Greg said, looking at Katie. "Can I see you tomorrow?"
"No." Katie put on the most serious face she could muster. She hesitated before adding, "I'm going to Puerto Rico tomorrow for the week. But you can see me next Monday." Katie said with her sweet smile.
"It's a date." Greg said, giving Katie a hug.
Greg said goodbye to Sandra. Tim waved to both girls as they began to walk away.
"Oh my God!" Katie cried when they were out of ear's reach. "He's absolutely perfect!"
"Every guy you meet is perfect until you get to know them." Sandra said, bursting Katie's bubble.
"Whatever. Don't be all grumpy with me because you're upset about losing your boyfriend." Katie crossed her arms across her chest, giving Sandra an attitude.
"You're right." Sandra said defeatedly. "I'm sorry. I have to go though. My parents are going to flip that I'm coming home so late." Sandra gave Katie a hug before turning to walk away.
"I'll write you an email everyday, okay?" Katie called before Sandra got too far.
"Okay, have fun!" Sandra turned and walked backward as she waved, putting on her best smile.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
chapter 6
Even though she was expecting it, Sandra was a little caught off guard when her parents started yelling at her as she walked through the door. She knew she was supposed to feel guilty for breaking the rules, but she was having trouble feeing anything the past few days.
"Where have you been?" Her mother said, throwing a dish towel on the table and putting her hands on her hips.
"It's past eleven!" Her dad yelled, pointing at the clock on the wall.
"I was hanging out at Katie's house and I lost track of time." Sandra said defensively. She wanted to tell her father that she knew how to tell the time, but refrained.
"You're grounded for a week, go to your room." Her mom said with quiet anger.
Sandra brushed past her parents. She didn't care that she was grounded. Jimmy wasn't going to be hanging out with her and Katie was going to be in Puerto Rico. She would have stayed in the house anyway. The only reason she didn't tell her parents all this is because she knew it would only add fuel to the fire.
Sandra had her war dream again. It was shorter this time. This time, though, Sandra felt anxious. She felt as if it were a sure bet that her side was going to lose. She craned her neck looking for the commander, who was was nowhere in sight.
"I don't know what to do." Sandra said aloud, trying not to cry from frustration.
"All you can do is fight." Said a faceless soldier who slowed down while running by.
It was nine p.m. on Sunday night. Jimmy sat on his shabby sofa in his shabby studio apartment. He stared at the cheap television that sat on top of the cheap rolling TV stand. Cradling his head in his hands, he took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. He picked up his Nextel beside him and scrolled through the numbers. It landing on Sandra. Jimmy stared at the phone with his finger hovering over the call button.
He wanted to talk to her, but he also wanted to give her space. Remembering his decision to give her time to cool off, he tossed the phone behind him over his shoulder. It landed on the hardwood floor and slid under his bed. He considered going to get it, but decided against it. He got up to make himself something to eat; he'd barely eaten since Friday.
As he stood at the counter on the opposite side of the room from the bed, he began to make a roast beef sandwich. He spread the mayonnaise on the bread while trying to take his mind off Sandra. After putting four slices of roast beef on the bread, he picked up the sandwich and took a bite. Just as he was about to swallow, his phone rang.
He inadvertently dropped his sandwich and sprinted toward his bed. Pushing the TV aside, he tried to hurdle over his couch, but his foot hit the back of the couch. He twisted and landed on his back, letting out a loud grunt as the wind was expelled from his lungs. The couch tipped over, landing with only an inch of space between Jimmy and the top of the couch.
His phone rang a third time. He pushed himself up and crawled the few extra feet to his bed. Reaching for his phone, he realized 'of course it's just out of reach.' He pushed the bed a few inches and snatched the phone. Without looking at the caller ID he opened the phone and hoped they hadn't hung up.
"Hello?" Jimmy answered desperately, coughing on the piece of roast beef that had become lodged in his throat.
"Hey Jimmy. It's Courtney." The voice on the phone informed him.
"Oh, hey." Jimmy responded, disappointedly.
"I'm downstairs. Buzz me up!" She demanded in a chipper voice.
Jimmy hung up his phone. He laid back on the floor for a moment, trying to adjust to the pain he was feeling. He put his hand on his face, trying to catch his breath. Noticing a tiny piece of roast beef plastered to his face with a glob of mayonnaise, he wiped it off and got up. He walked to the door, pushed the buzzer, and walked over to clean up his sandwich.
Courtney walked in and surveyed the room.
"What the hell happened in here?" She had her eyebrows raised as she noticed the floor lamp that had been tipped over, the couch that lay on its back, and the bed that stood askew from its normal position.
"I was rushing to the phone." Jimmy explained as he dropped the uneaten sandwich into the trash.
"So I'm that important, huh?" Courtney said in a flirty voice as she picked up the floor lamp.
"Yepp." Jimmy said, not wanting to tell her he was hoping she were someone different and was disappointed to hear her voice.
Jimmy picked up the couch and pushed the TV stand back its original position. Courtney sat on the couch and turned on the television with the remote. Jimmy sat beside her, wishing she were Sandra. Jimmy put on a sitcom and barely paid attention to it, even though he was staring at the television. He noticed Courtney kept inching toward him.
"I heard you and your girlfriend broke up." Courtney said, putting her hand on his knee. "It must be very hard for you."
"It's just a temporary thing." Jimmy said, slightly pulling his knee away from her hand.
Courtney sat next to Jimmy and looked at the TV. She pretended to be very focused on the show, but Jimmy knew she wasn't because her eyes were slightly glazed and she was biting her lip as if she were thinking. Jimmy ignored it and began watching the show. All of a sudden, Courtney was on top of him, kissing him.
All he could see besides her face was her black hair. Courtney took off her glasses and put then on the table beside the couch. Being in shock, Jimmy's reaction time was delayed. He pushed Courtney away and tried to push her off him. She struggled to stay on him.
"It's not like I'm looking for anything serious. I just want to be with you in any way that I can." Courtney said as she squeezed her knees to lock herself on to him.
"I'm with Sandra." Jimmy kept his hands on her shoulders, keeping her at arm's length.
"She obviously doesn't want to be with you." Courtney pulled her black hair up into a ponytail. The words stung Jimmy. He loosened his grip a little.
"She's a teenager, all teenage girls are drama queens at some point or another." Jimmy tried not to sound so unsure.
"So you admit that she's probably too young for you!" Courtney exclaimed. "Just let this happen. You don't even know if she's going to come back to you. Has she answered any of your calls?" Courtney knew the answer.
Jimmy didn't answer, but he dropped his gaze. He kept his hands on her shoulders but wasn't holding her back anymore. Courtney leaned forward and kissed him. Jimmy didn't fight it. He didn't fight it when she was grinding herself against him. He began to give in, before the television reminded him why he fought so hard in the first place.
Courtney accidentally hit the remote with her knee, changing the channel. The movie "Wicker Park" came on. Just as Jimmy put his arms around Courtney, Matthew Lillard said, "The moment you make a decision, decide on anything, along comes temptation." Jimmy realized if he really wanted to be with Sandra, he would have to deny temptation and wait as long as it took. He pushed Courtney off of him and stood up.
"I can't. I don't want to do this." Jimmy said, buttoning his shirt back up.
"That's what your mind says, but your body seems to disagree." Courtney said with a smirk as she glanced at his pants.
"Please, go." Jimmy said, pointing at the door.
"You are such a dick!" Courtney cried, her face turning red.
"I throw myself at you and you tell me I'm not good enough for you? I hope that bitch never comes back to you!" Courtney shouted as she slammed his front door.
Jimmy went and sat on the edge of his bed. He laid back with his feet on the floor. His eyes grew heavy and the next thing he knew, everything went black.
The next day, Sandra noticed that there was no Chrysler Lebaron parked on her street. She felt her heart drop a little, but kept walking. She never realized what a long walk it was to get to school until she had to do it by herself. She hugged her books to her chest as she walked and started to feel nauseous, but ignored it. As she got to the front steps of the school, she threw up. She ran to curb and kneeled down, hoping no one saw her.
That day in school it felt like everyone was staring at her and whispering as she walked by. She sat down in her Calculus class and tried to focus on her school work. Imene came running in as Sandra was waiting for the bell to ring.
"So, has anything new happened?" She sat down and stared at Sandra. She must have run up the stairs because she was out of breath.
"No. I left my phone at home and off all weekend while I was at Katie's house. Katie went to Puerto Rico for the week." Sandra said, half heartedly.
"Aw, well if you want, I'll hang out with you." Imene said, giving Sandra a small smile.
"Well I'm grounded for the week, too." Sandra hoped it didn't seem like she was avoiding Imene.
"Oh," Imene sounded disappointed. "Well, if your parents change their mind, here's my phone number." Imene wrote her number down and handed it to Sandra.
"Thanks." Sandra smiled as she put the piece of paper in her purse. "But, the bell's about to ring and I can't afford to get kicked out of class again." Sandra said, hoping Imene would get the hint.
"Okay, just make sure to call me later!" Imene said right before the bell rang.
All day Sandra tried not to think about her appointment. It was on Wednesday. Just thinking about Wednesday, the first of October, made her stomach feel like it was flipping around. Half way through class, Sandra got up and walked out.
She walked to the nurse's office. She sat outside, waiting for the nurse to call her in. When she did, the nurse beckoned her to sit in the chair next to her desk. She was tall and skinny with dirty blonde hair. She spoke with a lisp but had a very kind voice.
"So what brings you here today?" She asked, pulling out her notepad.
"I just feel really sick. I think I may throw up soon." Sandra said, trying to keep her nausea at bay.
"Mhm," the nurse said, writing it down. "And, how long have you felt this way?" She had a puzzled look on her face.
"A few weeks, I've been throwing up everyday." Sandra explained.
"Oh my!" The nurse said worriedly.
"Oh no," Sandra interrupted her, laughing at her mistake. "I know why I'm sick. I'm not here to find out what's wrong." Sandra explained with a smile.
"What is it?" She asked curiously.
"I'm pregnant." Sandra couldn't help but smile.
"I'm guessing from your reaction that this is a good thing?" The nurse asked, also smiling. "Do your parents know?"
"I guess it is, and yes they do." Sandra said, starting to realize that she really truly wanted the baby.
"So what can I do for you then?" the nurse asked, putting her pen down.
"Can I just sit outside your office until I feel better?" Sandra asked with a sweet smile.
"Of course! I'll check on you every 15 minutes to see if you need any water or anything." She led Sandra out to the hallway outside her office. "If you start to feel really sick, lay on the bench with a wet paper towel over your forehead okay?" She said as she walked back into her office.
Sandra sat there for the whole first period. A few times, she went running to the bathroom beside the nurse's office. A few minutes after the bell rang, Imene and Stacey showed up.
"Are you okay?" Stacey asked, worried.
"I just keep throwing up." Sandra said, feeling her face turning green again.
"Aw!" Stacey hugged her. "Do you need anything? I can take notes for you." She said, trying to be helpful.
"Okay, thanks." Sandra tried to smile, but felt too sick.
"I brought you some chips, someone told me it helps." Imene said, unsure of herself. She held out the bag of chips.
"It's worth a try." Sandra said, taking the bag.
"Well I have to go to class. Talk to you later!" Stacey said quickly as she got up and walked away.
Imene sat down beside her. After a few seconds, she walked into the nurse's office and asked her a question. She came out and sat back down. She pulled out a book from her backpack and started to read.
"What are you doing?" Sandra asked, confused.
"I asked if I could keep you company." Imene said without taking her eyes off the book. "Whenever you want to talk, let me know."
Sandra smiled. She loved how Imene knew she just wanted quiet company. She leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and tried to think of anything other than her own life. She thought about how Katie was doing.
She couldn't wait to get home to read her email. It brought her spirits up to know that she'd hear from Katie. Then, she felt like her spirits were thrown right back down when she remembered she was grounded. She wasn't allowed to use the computer or the phone when she was grounded.
"Actually," Sandra turned to Imene. "There is something we can do."
"Where have you been?" Her mother said, throwing a dish towel on the table and putting her hands on her hips.
"It's past eleven!" Her dad yelled, pointing at the clock on the wall.
"I was hanging out at Katie's house and I lost track of time." Sandra said defensively. She wanted to tell her father that she knew how to tell the time, but refrained.
"You're grounded for a week, go to your room." Her mom said with quiet anger.
Sandra brushed past her parents. She didn't care that she was grounded. Jimmy wasn't going to be hanging out with her and Katie was going to be in Puerto Rico. She would have stayed in the house anyway. The only reason she didn't tell her parents all this is because she knew it would only add fuel to the fire.
Sandra had her war dream again. It was shorter this time. This time, though, Sandra felt anxious. She felt as if it were a sure bet that her side was going to lose. She craned her neck looking for the commander, who was was nowhere in sight.
"I don't know what to do." Sandra said aloud, trying not to cry from frustration.
"All you can do is fight." Said a faceless soldier who slowed down while running by.
It was nine p.m. on Sunday night. Jimmy sat on his shabby sofa in his shabby studio apartment. He stared at the cheap television that sat on top of the cheap rolling TV stand. Cradling his head in his hands, he took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. He picked up his Nextel beside him and scrolled through the numbers. It landing on Sandra. Jimmy stared at the phone with his finger hovering over the call button.
He wanted to talk to her, but he also wanted to give her space. Remembering his decision to give her time to cool off, he tossed the phone behind him over his shoulder. It landed on the hardwood floor and slid under his bed. He considered going to get it, but decided against it. He got up to make himself something to eat; he'd barely eaten since Friday.
As he stood at the counter on the opposite side of the room from the bed, he began to make a roast beef sandwich. He spread the mayonnaise on the bread while trying to take his mind off Sandra. After putting four slices of roast beef on the bread, he picked up the sandwich and took a bite. Just as he was about to swallow, his phone rang.
He inadvertently dropped his sandwich and sprinted toward his bed. Pushing the TV aside, he tried to hurdle over his couch, but his foot hit the back of the couch. He twisted and landed on his back, letting out a loud grunt as the wind was expelled from his lungs. The couch tipped over, landing with only an inch of space between Jimmy and the top of the couch.
His phone rang a third time. He pushed himself up and crawled the few extra feet to his bed. Reaching for his phone, he realized 'of course it's just out of reach.' He pushed the bed a few inches and snatched the phone. Without looking at the caller ID he opened the phone and hoped they hadn't hung up.
"Hello?" Jimmy answered desperately, coughing on the piece of roast beef that had become lodged in his throat.
"Hey Jimmy. It's Courtney." The voice on the phone informed him.
"Oh, hey." Jimmy responded, disappointedly.
"I'm downstairs. Buzz me up!" She demanded in a chipper voice.
Jimmy hung up his phone. He laid back on the floor for a moment, trying to adjust to the pain he was feeling. He put his hand on his face, trying to catch his breath. Noticing a tiny piece of roast beef plastered to his face with a glob of mayonnaise, he wiped it off and got up. He walked to the door, pushed the buzzer, and walked over to clean up his sandwich.
Courtney walked in and surveyed the room.
"What the hell happened in here?" She had her eyebrows raised as she noticed the floor lamp that had been tipped over, the couch that lay on its back, and the bed that stood askew from its normal position.
"I was rushing to the phone." Jimmy explained as he dropped the uneaten sandwich into the trash.
"So I'm that important, huh?" Courtney said in a flirty voice as she picked up the floor lamp.
"Yepp." Jimmy said, not wanting to tell her he was hoping she were someone different and was disappointed to hear her voice.
Jimmy picked up the couch and pushed the TV stand back its original position. Courtney sat on the couch and turned on the television with the remote. Jimmy sat beside her, wishing she were Sandra. Jimmy put on a sitcom and barely paid attention to it, even though he was staring at the television. He noticed Courtney kept inching toward him.
"I heard you and your girlfriend broke up." Courtney said, putting her hand on his knee. "It must be very hard for you."
"It's just a temporary thing." Jimmy said, slightly pulling his knee away from her hand.
Courtney sat next to Jimmy and looked at the TV. She pretended to be very focused on the show, but Jimmy knew she wasn't because her eyes were slightly glazed and she was biting her lip as if she were thinking. Jimmy ignored it and began watching the show. All of a sudden, Courtney was on top of him, kissing him.
All he could see besides her face was her black hair. Courtney took off her glasses and put then on the table beside the couch. Being in shock, Jimmy's reaction time was delayed. He pushed Courtney away and tried to push her off him. She struggled to stay on him.
"It's not like I'm looking for anything serious. I just want to be with you in any way that I can." Courtney said as she squeezed her knees to lock herself on to him.
"I'm with Sandra." Jimmy kept his hands on her shoulders, keeping her at arm's length.
"She obviously doesn't want to be with you." Courtney pulled her black hair up into a ponytail. The words stung Jimmy. He loosened his grip a little.
"She's a teenager, all teenage girls are drama queens at some point or another." Jimmy tried not to sound so unsure.
"So you admit that she's probably too young for you!" Courtney exclaimed. "Just let this happen. You don't even know if she's going to come back to you. Has she answered any of your calls?" Courtney knew the answer.
Jimmy didn't answer, but he dropped his gaze. He kept his hands on her shoulders but wasn't holding her back anymore. Courtney leaned forward and kissed him. Jimmy didn't fight it. He didn't fight it when she was grinding herself against him. He began to give in, before the television reminded him why he fought so hard in the first place.
Courtney accidentally hit the remote with her knee, changing the channel. The movie "Wicker Park" came on. Just as Jimmy put his arms around Courtney, Matthew Lillard said, "The moment you make a decision, decide on anything, along comes temptation." Jimmy realized if he really wanted to be with Sandra, he would have to deny temptation and wait as long as it took. He pushed Courtney off of him and stood up.
"I can't. I don't want to do this." Jimmy said, buttoning his shirt back up.
"That's what your mind says, but your body seems to disagree." Courtney said with a smirk as she glanced at his pants.
"Please, go." Jimmy said, pointing at the door.
"You are such a dick!" Courtney cried, her face turning red.
"I throw myself at you and you tell me I'm not good enough for you? I hope that bitch never comes back to you!" Courtney shouted as she slammed his front door.
Jimmy went and sat on the edge of his bed. He laid back with his feet on the floor. His eyes grew heavy and the next thing he knew, everything went black.
The next day, Sandra noticed that there was no Chrysler Lebaron parked on her street. She felt her heart drop a little, but kept walking. She never realized what a long walk it was to get to school until she had to do it by herself. She hugged her books to her chest as she walked and started to feel nauseous, but ignored it. As she got to the front steps of the school, she threw up. She ran to curb and kneeled down, hoping no one saw her.
That day in school it felt like everyone was staring at her and whispering as she walked by. She sat down in her Calculus class and tried to focus on her school work. Imene came running in as Sandra was waiting for the bell to ring.
"So, has anything new happened?" She sat down and stared at Sandra. She must have run up the stairs because she was out of breath.
"No. I left my phone at home and off all weekend while I was at Katie's house. Katie went to Puerto Rico for the week." Sandra said, half heartedly.
"Aw, well if you want, I'll hang out with you." Imene said, giving Sandra a small smile.
"Well I'm grounded for the week, too." Sandra hoped it didn't seem like she was avoiding Imene.
"Oh," Imene sounded disappointed. "Well, if your parents change their mind, here's my phone number." Imene wrote her number down and handed it to Sandra.
"Thanks." Sandra smiled as she put the piece of paper in her purse. "But, the bell's about to ring and I can't afford to get kicked out of class again." Sandra said, hoping Imene would get the hint.
"Okay, just make sure to call me later!" Imene said right before the bell rang.
All day Sandra tried not to think about her appointment. It was on Wednesday. Just thinking about Wednesday, the first of October, made her stomach feel like it was flipping around. Half way through class, Sandra got up and walked out.
She walked to the nurse's office. She sat outside, waiting for the nurse to call her in. When she did, the nurse beckoned her to sit in the chair next to her desk. She was tall and skinny with dirty blonde hair. She spoke with a lisp but had a very kind voice.
"So what brings you here today?" She asked, pulling out her notepad.
"I just feel really sick. I think I may throw up soon." Sandra said, trying to keep her nausea at bay.
"Mhm," the nurse said, writing it down. "And, how long have you felt this way?" She had a puzzled look on her face.
"A few weeks, I've been throwing up everyday." Sandra explained.
"Oh my!" The nurse said worriedly.
"Oh no," Sandra interrupted her, laughing at her mistake. "I know why I'm sick. I'm not here to find out what's wrong." Sandra explained with a smile.
"What is it?" She asked curiously.
"I'm pregnant." Sandra couldn't help but smile.
"I'm guessing from your reaction that this is a good thing?" The nurse asked, also smiling. "Do your parents know?"
"I guess it is, and yes they do." Sandra said, starting to realize that she really truly wanted the baby.
"So what can I do for you then?" the nurse asked, putting her pen down.
"Can I just sit outside your office until I feel better?" Sandra asked with a sweet smile.
"Of course! I'll check on you every 15 minutes to see if you need any water or anything." She led Sandra out to the hallway outside her office. "If you start to feel really sick, lay on the bench with a wet paper towel over your forehead okay?" She said as she walked back into her office.
Sandra sat there for the whole first period. A few times, she went running to the bathroom beside the nurse's office. A few minutes after the bell rang, Imene and Stacey showed up.
"Are you okay?" Stacey asked, worried.
"I just keep throwing up." Sandra said, feeling her face turning green again.
"Aw!" Stacey hugged her. "Do you need anything? I can take notes for you." She said, trying to be helpful.
"Okay, thanks." Sandra tried to smile, but felt too sick.
"I brought you some chips, someone told me it helps." Imene said, unsure of herself. She held out the bag of chips.
"It's worth a try." Sandra said, taking the bag.
"Well I have to go to class. Talk to you later!" Stacey said quickly as she got up and walked away.
Imene sat down beside her. After a few seconds, she walked into the nurse's office and asked her a question. She came out and sat back down. She pulled out a book from her backpack and started to read.
"What are you doing?" Sandra asked, confused.
"I asked if I could keep you company." Imene said without taking her eyes off the book. "Whenever you want to talk, let me know."
Sandra smiled. She loved how Imene knew she just wanted quiet company. She leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and tried to think of anything other than her own life. She thought about how Katie was doing.
She couldn't wait to get home to read her email. It brought her spirits up to know that she'd hear from Katie. Then, she felt like her spirits were thrown right back down when she remembered she was grounded. She wasn't allowed to use the computer or the phone when she was grounded.
"Actually," Sandra turned to Imene. "There is something we can do."
Monday, March 21, 2011
chapter 7
Sandra met up with Stacey right around lunch time. They walked to the cafeteria with Stacey talking the whole time. It annoyed a lot of people, but Sandra didn't mind it because it kept her mind off other things.
They sat down to eat after shoving their way through the crowded lunch lines. Sandra looked down at her plate and couldn't remember why she fought so hard to get through the line for mystery meat.
"So, anyway, back to what I was saying," Stacey rambled on. "I don't like gym class because the teacher is weird. I think he's a perv. Every time I look at him he's staring at one of the girls. He chose the phys ed uniform and of course he chose short shorts for girls!" she complained, playing with her food. She made a disgusted face. "I hate school lunches."
"Where's Katie?" Stacey asked, realizing she wasn't sitting with them.
"She went to Puerto Rico with her mom for the week." Sandra said, sighing sadly.
"Oh, so we can hang out all week!" Stacey said excitedly.
It was no secret that Stacey and Katie shared a mutual disliking of one another. The only reason they put up with each other, it seemed, was for Sandra. Sandra couldn't understand why they couldn't give each other a chance. Frankly, it annoyed her. It also annoyed her when Stacey acted as if she were better than Katie. Sometimes she'd say things like 'I bet you never have this much fun with Katie.' Sandra always just ignored it, because the truth was she had more fun with Katie than anyone else.
"Actually, I'm grounded this week. So unless you can convince my mom to let me come out, it's not going to happen." Sandra said, sipping her water.
"I'll see what I can do." Stacey said.
Sandra felt better after lunch. She didn't eat very much, but her nausea went away. She fidgeted through the rest of her classes. She kept looking at the clock waiting for 3 o'clock. It seemed like time was standing still. Finally the bell rang and she jumped out of her chair so fast that she almost knocked it over.
Her mom was waiting outside for her to make sure she came straight home. Sandra rolled her eyes when she saw the car. She got in the car and didn't say anything. Of course, her mom tried to act like nothing was going on.
"Hey hun!" She chirped as Sandra closed the door. "I was wondering, have you chosen what you're going to be dressing up as for Halloween?"
"Probably a ghost." Sandra said without looking at her mother.
"Really?" Her mom asked surprised. "But that's so plain, usually you pick something unique."
"Yeah, well I'm not really in the mood for anything unique this year." Sandra said, feeling like she already was a ghost.
"Well, this weekend, do you want to go out shopping for costumes? It can be me, you, Gwen, and Amber. We can have a girl's night and your father can watch Jeff." She suggested hopefully.
Amber was Sandra's older sister. She was twenty two. She got pregnant at Sandra's age. She now lived on her own in the apartment complex across town that only accepted families on welfare.
"Sure." Sandra said, hoping her mom would forget by Friday.
When they got home, Sandra went straight to her room. She told her mom she had homework to catch up on. She was glad her mom didn't pry, otherwise she probably would have figured out that Sandra finished her homework in school, like she usually does.
She went up to her room and spread her books and notebooks out on the bed on one end. Kicking off her sneakers, she laid in bed on her stomach. She picked up her chemistry book and began flipping through the pages, trying to look busy.
After about fifteen minutes, Sandra heard a knock at the door. Her heart pounded as she tried to listen closer. she squeezed her eyes closed hoping her mom would answer. She did. She could hear a conversation going on, but couldn't hear what they were saying. She knew her plan was a success when she heard two pairs of footsteps coming up the stairs.
"Sandra, someone's here for you." Her mom poked her head in the door. Sandra put a pencil and book down, pretending as if she were studying.
"Really?" Sandra asked, feigning surprise.
"Yes, the French exchange student. She says she needs help with her homework. Aimen, I think she said her name was?" Her mom said sweetly.
"Imene, actually." Sandra heard Imene correct her.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She apologized sincerely.
"So are you going to let her in?" Sandra asked, trying not to give away her plan.
"Oh, right. You two have fun!" Sandra's mom walked away as Imene walked in and closed the door.
Both girls froze for a few seconds, listening. They wanted to make sure her mom went back down stairs. When they heard the footsteps on the stairs, Sandra jumped up, pushing all her books to the side.
"So, did you bring the goods?" Sandra asked anxiously.
Imene didn't answer, she just took her messenger book bag and set it on the bed, lifting the strap over her head. She opened the flap and paused, looking at Sandra and adding to the suspense. Finally, she reached in her bag and pulled out her laptop.
"Yes!" Sandra cried quietly. She took the laptop into her lap as Imene jumped on the bed and sat beside her.
Sandra connected the laptop to her parents wireless router. She clicked on the internet and typed as quickly and quietly as she could. While the page was loading, she kept fidgeting and urging the computer to hurry up. Finally, it loaded and she scrolled through all the junk mail to find Katie's email. A smile grew on her face as she found it and opened it. The smile remained plastered on her face as she read.
Sandra,
Heyyy best frannnd! What are you up to? How mad were your parents when you came home late? Our plane came in early this morning, it was a quicker flight than I thought! You'll never guess what happened! (Okay, I bet you've already guessed...) I met a guy on the plane! He seems nice. He's not as cute as Greg, though. It's weird because he's going on a vacation to Puerto Rico, too. Know what's even more weird? He's staying in the same hotel! He's on the second level, though and we're on the seventh. His name is John.
Anyway, how are things with Jimmy? Have you called him yet? Let me know everything!! My mom is already at the pool in her bikini and sarong flirting with the locals. She's such a dork, she has her Spanish-English dictionary and is trying to speak Spanish. I think she's hooked a couple so far! But I don't think it has anything to do with her conversational skills.
Anyway, I heart you and mish you! Wish you were here!
xOx
Katie<3
Sandra read it over a few times, wishing there were more. She smiled as she imagined how Katie acted around this John character. She could imagine Katie's mom with guys around her as she tried, and failed, to speak Spanish.
Sandra sometimes felt that beauty was a curse in some cases. It definitely was for Katie's mom. There were always guys pretending to be the perfect someone, perfect dad, perfect husband, perfect whatever, just to get her to trust them. They were never who they said they were and they always left her heart broken and more damaged than before. Somehow, though, Katie's mom always managed to smile. Sandra paused with her fingers over the keys as she thought about what to write in her reply.
Katie,
What's up girl? I'm glad to hear you and your mom are having fun! Make sure you look out for your mom, you know how naive she is, she's worse than you! I wish I could be there to explore with you!
Not much is going on here. Imene says hi. Technically I'm grounded right now, but she snuck her laptop in telling my mom she needed homework help. I spent most of today at the nurse's office. She's super nice.
I haven't called Jimmy yet. I'm scared to. I don't really know why. I think I'll call him tomorrow night, but that means I'd have to find a way to get my cell phone back from my mom. I don't know what I'm really going to say if I do call. I think I decided what I want to do. I really want the baby, well I want the baby more than I don't. Does that make any sense? I mean part of me is scared like what if Jimmy leaves or what if I'm not a good mom? But as it gets closer to THE DAY, those voices seem to fade more and more. I caught myself laying with my hands on my stomach trying to feel the baby move. I know it's way too early, but I can't help but imagine everything about it! I think I'm more excited than scared.
Anyway, I think I hear my mom coming, gotta go!
Mish you and heart you more!
xOx
Sandra
Sandra pressed send and slammed the laptop closed as footsteps reached the top of the stairs. Her and Imene scrambled around looking for a place to hide it. Sandra slid it under her pillow and Imene grabbed the English book as the doorknob began to turn.
"So, you see here, this sentence is missing the adjective." Sandra said the first thing to come to her mind as the door opened.
"Sandra, dear, I don't mean to interrupt you two, but you have another visitor." Sandra's mom said, emphasizing the word "another" sounding a little agitated.
"Who?" Sandra asked, confused.
"Hey!" Stacey pulled the door open and walked in. "I figured we could do homework together!" She said excitedly before noticing Imene. "It seems you started without me, though." Stacey sounded disappointed.
"Oh, calm down Stace." Sandra laughed. "We've barely started. Pull up a chair." Sandra's mom looked at the girls suspiciously for a few minutes before closing the door.
"So what are we working on?" Stacey asked as she pulled out her English book.
"Honestly, we're not doing homework." Sandra said. "It was just a cover." She explained.
"Oh." Stacey said, unsure of how to respond. "So, what are we going to do then?" Stacey asked, slowly putting her book back in her bag.
There was a brief awkward silence while the three girls looked at each other, not sure what to do. Sandra picked up her remote and put her radio on and made sure the volume wasn't loud enough to attract her parents' attention.
"I have a crush on this guy in our history class!" Stacey tried breaking the silence.
"Tell us about him!" Imene urged her.
"His name is Kyle Kelly." Stacey explained, knowing Sandra would know who she was talking about.
"Ew!" Sandra cried. "He's a jerk!"
The three girls kept talking about Kyle Kelly. Sandra explained why she thought he was a jerk. No matter what Sandra said, Stacey was set on having a crush on him. They made sure to keep at least one book open, in case anyone walked in.
About an hour and three conversations later, Sandra's mom knocked on the door. The girls stopped talking as she poked her head in.
"Would your friends like to eat over? I'm about to start dinner." She asked after looking around the room.
"Oh, I don't think I can, Mrs. Gallagher." Stacey said regretfully.
"I would love to!" Imene said with a smile.
"Well, I guess I can call my mom and ask." Stacey said, reconsidering.
While Stacey was in the hallway talking on the pone with her mother, Imene gave Sandra a curious look.
"What?" Sandra asked with a smirk.
"Does she get jealous of everyone?" Imene asked quietly.
"She's a little insecure. To a lot of people she may seem annoying or whatever, but underneath it all she's really sweet. When she wants to be." Sandra said, adding the last part as an afterthought.
"Must be way underneath it all." Imene said, right before they heard Stacey saying goodbye to her mom.
Sandra laughed as Stacey walked back in. Stacey looked back and forth at Sandra and Imene suspiciously. Imene got up and walked out of the room with the excuse that she needed to wash her hands before dinner. Stacey seemed perturbed.
"What's wrong, Stace?" Sandra asked, genuinely concerned.
"Nothing." Stacey rolled her eyes.
"Really, tell me!" Sandra demanded, furrowing her eyebrows. "Did your mom say no to dinner?"
"I bet you'd like that." Stacey snapped.
"What?" Sandra asked incredulously. "Why would you say that?"
"You practically tried to get me not to come tonight. You said you were grounded." Stacey said, getting more upset.
"I am grounded!" Sandra hissed.
Before Stacey could respond, Sandra's mom came up. She let the girls know dinner was ready. Stacey and Sandra stared at each other for a few moments after Sandra's mom walked away. Stacey glowered at Sandra as Imene walked in. Imene immediately felt the tension in the room.
"I'll be downstairs, at the table." Imene said turning on her heeel and walking out.
"Come on, Stacey. Calm down, let's go eat." Sandra said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"I'm not very hungry anymore." Stacey said, her eyes glistening. She got up and walked out. Sandra sighed heavily. She hoped Stacey would be over it by tomorrow.
After dinner, Imene left. She gave Sandra a hug and kiss on the cheek. She thanked Sandra's mom for allowing Sandra to help her. After giving her mom a hug, she began to walk out the door.
"Anytime, dear! If you need to, you can come everyday this week." Sandra's mom called after her. "Be safe on your way home. Call Sandra when you get home!" She called as Imene waved while walking away.
Sandra went up to her room to get ready to take a shower. She grabbed a towel out of the linen closet and carried it with her to her room. She pulled the elastic out of her hair and brushed it so it would be easier to wash. She was sitting on her bed taking off her socks when her mom came in.
"If you pull a stunt like that again, I'll double your punishment." She said, angrily narrowing her eyes.
"What are you talking about?" Sandra asked, innocently.
"Having all your friends come over while you're grounded. That's what I'm talking about. The French girl can come over, but only to do homework. Do you hear me?" She spoke sternly.
"Yes. I do hear you, mom, but trust me, I didn't invite Stacey over." She walked by her mom as she spoke. "Can I go in the shower now?" She asked, waiting to close the bathroom door until her mom gave her permission to end the conversation.
Later that night, as Sandra sat at her vanity brushing her hair, she started to feel overwhelmed. Putting the brush down on the vanity, she began to cry. She didn't know what she was doing, didn't know what to do. Her mother came to the door, she nudged the door open after lightly knocking on it.
"What's the matter Sandra?" She asked worriedly as she walked over and sat next to Sandra. She put her arm around Sandra as Sandra tried to stop crying.
"I don't know. I'm scared." Sandra cried, leaning into her mother.
"Everyone gets scared when they're pregnant. It's normal." Her mother comforted her, and Sandra actually felt better.
"Really?" Sandra asked, sniffling.
"Really." Her mother said, getting up. "Now, get to sleep."
They sat down to eat after shoving their way through the crowded lunch lines. Sandra looked down at her plate and couldn't remember why she fought so hard to get through the line for mystery meat.
"So, anyway, back to what I was saying," Stacey rambled on. "I don't like gym class because the teacher is weird. I think he's a perv. Every time I look at him he's staring at one of the girls. He chose the phys ed uniform and of course he chose short shorts for girls!" she complained, playing with her food. She made a disgusted face. "I hate school lunches."
"Where's Katie?" Stacey asked, realizing she wasn't sitting with them.
"She went to Puerto Rico with her mom for the week." Sandra said, sighing sadly.
"Oh, so we can hang out all week!" Stacey said excitedly.
It was no secret that Stacey and Katie shared a mutual disliking of one another. The only reason they put up with each other, it seemed, was for Sandra. Sandra couldn't understand why they couldn't give each other a chance. Frankly, it annoyed her. It also annoyed her when Stacey acted as if she were better than Katie. Sometimes she'd say things like 'I bet you never have this much fun with Katie.' Sandra always just ignored it, because the truth was she had more fun with Katie than anyone else.
"Actually, I'm grounded this week. So unless you can convince my mom to let me come out, it's not going to happen." Sandra said, sipping her water.
"I'll see what I can do." Stacey said.
Sandra felt better after lunch. She didn't eat very much, but her nausea went away. She fidgeted through the rest of her classes. She kept looking at the clock waiting for 3 o'clock. It seemed like time was standing still. Finally the bell rang and she jumped out of her chair so fast that she almost knocked it over.
Her mom was waiting outside for her to make sure she came straight home. Sandra rolled her eyes when she saw the car. She got in the car and didn't say anything. Of course, her mom tried to act like nothing was going on.
"Hey hun!" She chirped as Sandra closed the door. "I was wondering, have you chosen what you're going to be dressing up as for Halloween?"
"Probably a ghost." Sandra said without looking at her mother.
"Really?" Her mom asked surprised. "But that's so plain, usually you pick something unique."
"Yeah, well I'm not really in the mood for anything unique this year." Sandra said, feeling like she already was a ghost.
"Well, this weekend, do you want to go out shopping for costumes? It can be me, you, Gwen, and Amber. We can have a girl's night and your father can watch Jeff." She suggested hopefully.
Amber was Sandra's older sister. She was twenty two. She got pregnant at Sandra's age. She now lived on her own in the apartment complex across town that only accepted families on welfare.
"Sure." Sandra said, hoping her mom would forget by Friday.
When they got home, Sandra went straight to her room. She told her mom she had homework to catch up on. She was glad her mom didn't pry, otherwise she probably would have figured out that Sandra finished her homework in school, like she usually does.
She went up to her room and spread her books and notebooks out on the bed on one end. Kicking off her sneakers, she laid in bed on her stomach. She picked up her chemistry book and began flipping through the pages, trying to look busy.
After about fifteen minutes, Sandra heard a knock at the door. Her heart pounded as she tried to listen closer. she squeezed her eyes closed hoping her mom would answer. She did. She could hear a conversation going on, but couldn't hear what they were saying. She knew her plan was a success when she heard two pairs of footsteps coming up the stairs.
"Sandra, someone's here for you." Her mom poked her head in the door. Sandra put a pencil and book down, pretending as if she were studying.
"Really?" Sandra asked, feigning surprise.
"Yes, the French exchange student. She says she needs help with her homework. Aimen, I think she said her name was?" Her mom said sweetly.
"Imene, actually." Sandra heard Imene correct her.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She apologized sincerely.
"So are you going to let her in?" Sandra asked, trying not to give away her plan.
"Oh, right. You two have fun!" Sandra's mom walked away as Imene walked in and closed the door.
Both girls froze for a few seconds, listening. They wanted to make sure her mom went back down stairs. When they heard the footsteps on the stairs, Sandra jumped up, pushing all her books to the side.
"So, did you bring the goods?" Sandra asked anxiously.
Imene didn't answer, she just took her messenger book bag and set it on the bed, lifting the strap over her head. She opened the flap and paused, looking at Sandra and adding to the suspense. Finally, she reached in her bag and pulled out her laptop.
"Yes!" Sandra cried quietly. She took the laptop into her lap as Imene jumped on the bed and sat beside her.
Sandra connected the laptop to her parents wireless router. She clicked on the internet and typed as quickly and quietly as she could. While the page was loading, she kept fidgeting and urging the computer to hurry up. Finally, it loaded and she scrolled through all the junk mail to find Katie's email. A smile grew on her face as she found it and opened it. The smile remained plastered on her face as she read.
Sandra,
Heyyy best frannnd! What are you up to? How mad were your parents when you came home late? Our plane came in early this morning, it was a quicker flight than I thought! You'll never guess what happened! (Okay, I bet you've already guessed...) I met a guy on the plane! He seems nice. He's not as cute as Greg, though. It's weird because he's going on a vacation to Puerto Rico, too. Know what's even more weird? He's staying in the same hotel! He's on the second level, though and we're on the seventh. His name is John.
Anyway, how are things with Jimmy? Have you called him yet? Let me know everything!! My mom is already at the pool in her bikini and sarong flirting with the locals. She's such a dork, she has her Spanish-English dictionary and is trying to speak Spanish. I think she's hooked a couple so far! But I don't think it has anything to do with her conversational skills.
Anyway, I heart you and mish you! Wish you were here!
xOx
Katie<3
Sandra read it over a few times, wishing there were more. She smiled as she imagined how Katie acted around this John character. She could imagine Katie's mom with guys around her as she tried, and failed, to speak Spanish.
Sandra sometimes felt that beauty was a curse in some cases. It definitely was for Katie's mom. There were always guys pretending to be the perfect someone, perfect dad, perfect husband, perfect whatever, just to get her to trust them. They were never who they said they were and they always left her heart broken and more damaged than before. Somehow, though, Katie's mom always managed to smile. Sandra paused with her fingers over the keys as she thought about what to write in her reply.
Katie,
What's up girl? I'm glad to hear you and your mom are having fun! Make sure you look out for your mom, you know how naive she is, she's worse than you! I wish I could be there to explore with you!
Not much is going on here. Imene says hi. Technically I'm grounded right now, but she snuck her laptop in telling my mom she needed homework help. I spent most of today at the nurse's office. She's super nice.
I haven't called Jimmy yet. I'm scared to. I don't really know why. I think I'll call him tomorrow night, but that means I'd have to find a way to get my cell phone back from my mom. I don't know what I'm really going to say if I do call. I think I decided what I want to do. I really want the baby, well I want the baby more than I don't. Does that make any sense? I mean part of me is scared like what if Jimmy leaves or what if I'm not a good mom? But as it gets closer to THE DAY, those voices seem to fade more and more. I caught myself laying with my hands on my stomach trying to feel the baby move. I know it's way too early, but I can't help but imagine everything about it! I think I'm more excited than scared.
Anyway, I think I hear my mom coming, gotta go!
Mish you and heart you more!
xOx
Sandra
Sandra pressed send and slammed the laptop closed as footsteps reached the top of the stairs. Her and Imene scrambled around looking for a place to hide it. Sandra slid it under her pillow and Imene grabbed the English book as the doorknob began to turn.
"So, you see here, this sentence is missing the adjective." Sandra said the first thing to come to her mind as the door opened.
"Sandra, dear, I don't mean to interrupt you two, but you have another visitor." Sandra's mom said, emphasizing the word "another" sounding a little agitated.
"Who?" Sandra asked, confused.
"Hey!" Stacey pulled the door open and walked in. "I figured we could do homework together!" She said excitedly before noticing Imene. "It seems you started without me, though." Stacey sounded disappointed.
"Oh, calm down Stace." Sandra laughed. "We've barely started. Pull up a chair." Sandra's mom looked at the girls suspiciously for a few minutes before closing the door.
"So what are we working on?" Stacey asked as she pulled out her English book.
"Honestly, we're not doing homework." Sandra said. "It was just a cover." She explained.
"Oh." Stacey said, unsure of how to respond. "So, what are we going to do then?" Stacey asked, slowly putting her book back in her bag.
There was a brief awkward silence while the three girls looked at each other, not sure what to do. Sandra picked up her remote and put her radio on and made sure the volume wasn't loud enough to attract her parents' attention.
"I have a crush on this guy in our history class!" Stacey tried breaking the silence.
"Tell us about him!" Imene urged her.
"His name is Kyle Kelly." Stacey explained, knowing Sandra would know who she was talking about.
"Ew!" Sandra cried. "He's a jerk!"
The three girls kept talking about Kyle Kelly. Sandra explained why she thought he was a jerk. No matter what Sandra said, Stacey was set on having a crush on him. They made sure to keep at least one book open, in case anyone walked in.
About an hour and three conversations later, Sandra's mom knocked on the door. The girls stopped talking as she poked her head in.
"Would your friends like to eat over? I'm about to start dinner." She asked after looking around the room.
"Oh, I don't think I can, Mrs. Gallagher." Stacey said regretfully.
"I would love to!" Imene said with a smile.
"Well, I guess I can call my mom and ask." Stacey said, reconsidering.
While Stacey was in the hallway talking on the pone with her mother, Imene gave Sandra a curious look.
"What?" Sandra asked with a smirk.
"Does she get jealous of everyone?" Imene asked quietly.
"She's a little insecure. To a lot of people she may seem annoying or whatever, but underneath it all she's really sweet. When she wants to be." Sandra said, adding the last part as an afterthought.
"Must be way underneath it all." Imene said, right before they heard Stacey saying goodbye to her mom.
Sandra laughed as Stacey walked back in. Stacey looked back and forth at Sandra and Imene suspiciously. Imene got up and walked out of the room with the excuse that she needed to wash her hands before dinner. Stacey seemed perturbed.
"What's wrong, Stace?" Sandra asked, genuinely concerned.
"Nothing." Stacey rolled her eyes.
"Really, tell me!" Sandra demanded, furrowing her eyebrows. "Did your mom say no to dinner?"
"I bet you'd like that." Stacey snapped.
"What?" Sandra asked incredulously. "Why would you say that?"
"You practically tried to get me not to come tonight. You said you were grounded." Stacey said, getting more upset.
"I am grounded!" Sandra hissed.
Before Stacey could respond, Sandra's mom came up. She let the girls know dinner was ready. Stacey and Sandra stared at each other for a few moments after Sandra's mom walked away. Stacey glowered at Sandra as Imene walked in. Imene immediately felt the tension in the room.
"I'll be downstairs, at the table." Imene said turning on her heeel and walking out.
"Come on, Stacey. Calm down, let's go eat." Sandra said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
"I'm not very hungry anymore." Stacey said, her eyes glistening. She got up and walked out. Sandra sighed heavily. She hoped Stacey would be over it by tomorrow.
After dinner, Imene left. She gave Sandra a hug and kiss on the cheek. She thanked Sandra's mom for allowing Sandra to help her. After giving her mom a hug, she began to walk out the door.
"Anytime, dear! If you need to, you can come everyday this week." Sandra's mom called after her. "Be safe on your way home. Call Sandra when you get home!" She called as Imene waved while walking away.
Sandra went up to her room to get ready to take a shower. She grabbed a towel out of the linen closet and carried it with her to her room. She pulled the elastic out of her hair and brushed it so it would be easier to wash. She was sitting on her bed taking off her socks when her mom came in.
"If you pull a stunt like that again, I'll double your punishment." She said, angrily narrowing her eyes.
"What are you talking about?" Sandra asked, innocently.
"Having all your friends come over while you're grounded. That's what I'm talking about. The French girl can come over, but only to do homework. Do you hear me?" She spoke sternly.
"Yes. I do hear you, mom, but trust me, I didn't invite Stacey over." She walked by her mom as she spoke. "Can I go in the shower now?" She asked, waiting to close the bathroom door until her mom gave her permission to end the conversation.
Later that night, as Sandra sat at her vanity brushing her hair, she started to feel overwhelmed. Putting the brush down on the vanity, she began to cry. She didn't know what she was doing, didn't know what to do. Her mother came to the door, she nudged the door open after lightly knocking on it.
"What's the matter Sandra?" She asked worriedly as she walked over and sat next to Sandra. She put her arm around Sandra as Sandra tried to stop crying.
"I don't know. I'm scared." Sandra cried, leaning into her mother.
"Everyone gets scared when they're pregnant. It's normal." Her mother comforted her, and Sandra actually felt better.
"Really?" Sandra asked, sniffling.
"Really." Her mother said, getting up. "Now, get to sleep."
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