chapter 3

"So how was your weekend? I went snowboarding this weekend and it was so fun!" She rambled on about her snowboarding trip and Sandra just listened as they walked to their lockers. Sandra, Stacey, and Katie's lockers were right beside each other. Katie had to bribe the former owner of the locker with a date just to get the locker next to Sandra's. Stacey kept talking about her trip while Sandra opened her locker.

"Sounds like you had a blast." Sandra said when she finished. Just then, Katie walked up to her locker.

"Hey Sandra!" She said excitedly. She looked over at Stacey. "Good morning Stacey." She said much less enthusiastically. Stacey threw her a quick wave as Sandra said bye and walked away. Stacey and Sandra had four out of five classes a day together.

"You really should have come! You would have had a lot of fun!" Stacey said, walking into their History class.

The rest of Sandra's day was like a blur. It went by slow, as usual, but by the end of each class it seemed that she couldn't remember anything she'd learned. At the end of the day, she met up with Katie to walk to softball practice.

Katie always made fun of the way Sandra looked in her softball sweats. She was laughing as they walked.

"So, are you going to play catch with me today?" Sandra asked, hopefully.

"I suck at softball! I have absolutely no coordination and you're asking me to play catch with you?" She said laughing.

"No one else on the team will play catch with me. They say I throw too fast." Sandra said, sadly.

"It's because you're better than them at some aspects of softball."

Katie said trying to make her feel better.

"I'm too good to be on JV and I'm not good enough to be on varsity. It sucks." Sandra said, sitting down on the bench and changing into her cleats.

"Big fish in a little pond, eh?" Sandra turned as she heard a familiar voice.

"Jimmy!" she cried, jumping up and wrapping her arms around his neck.

She locked her lips onto his until Katie cleared her throat.

"Uh, can you guys wait for another time to suck each other's faces off?" she asked, sounding slightly disgusted.

"I'll be waiting in the car, Love." Jimmy said as he pulled away. Sandra planted another softer kiss on his lips before letting him go.

"See you after practice!" She yelled, waving as he walked away. Katie sat down on the bench as the rest of the team trickled onto the field.

Sandra took her position as catcher as they played mock games. Sandra always had a lot of fun playing softball. It was one of the few things that could occupy her mind completely while she was playing.

After practice, Sandra called her mom before getting into Jimmy's car. She didn't answer, so Sandra left a message.

"Hey mom, it's Sandra. I'm going to Katie's house after school, so if you need me you know where to find me. I'll be eating dinner there, too."

Sandra hung up the phone as Jimmy threw her bag into the trunk of his car. Jimmy drove to Katie's house blasting the Dropkick Murphy's the whole way there. Sandra sat in back with Katie gossiping about Katie's new boyfriend.

"His name is Bill and he's so gorgeous!" Katie gushed.

"He has dark brown eyes and light brown hair. He's about five foot nine inches tall. I met him at the roller skating place Saturday night." She showed Sandra a picture she took with her cell phone.

"Oh, he's cute!" Sandra agreed. Jimmy reached back and snatched the phone out of her hand.

"Let me see what's going on back here." He said as he looked at the picture for a minute. "Eh, I'm still better looking." He said dismissively as he tossed the phone back to Sandra. Katie hit him over the head with her notebook, laughing.

"You're such a dork, Jimmy!" She laughed as they pulled up a few doors down from Katie's apartment. He parked on the street and they all walked to her house. As they walked in, Katie almost tripped over a small suitcase.

"Mom?" Katie called as Jimmy closed the door.

"Hey baby!" Katie's mom came running out of the kitchen, still in her flight attendant uniform. She had a small red apron over her uniform "I just got done baking cookies, come have some!" She beckoned them into the kitchen.

As they walked into the kitchen, Katie's mom was using a spatula to put the cookies from the cookie sheet onto a large plate. Katie and Sandra both hesitantly took a cookie. Katie took a small bite and tried not to make a bad face as she swallowed. Sandra stuffed the whole cookie in her mouth trying to eat it as quickly as possibly.

"These cookies are delicious!" Jimmy exclaimed as he took a second cookie.

Katie's mom's face lit up. "Why, thank you Jimmy. Have as many as you want." She took off her apron and hung it up on the wall.

"Yeah, mom. Your cookies are a lot better this time!" Katie tried to sound sincere.

As Katie's mom walked out of the room, Katie turned to Jimmy.

"Okay, you can stop eating the cookies now. We know they're horrible. My mom sucks at baking." Katie tried to take the handful of cookies he had. Jimmy pulled away.

"No, I really like them. Your mom put a lot of effort into making these and so what if they taste a little burnt?" Jimmy sounded as if he were lecturing the girls. "Maybe it's because I was brought up in the poor part of Dublin, but I've learned to treat homemade goods like treasure."

He stuffed another cookie into his mouth before Katie could rip it out of his hand. Katie's mom came back in a few minutes later.

"So, what have you girls been up to lately?" She asked, pulling a chair up to the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"Oh, you know. The usual." Sandra said, trying to keep her smile on.

"Any new boyfriends, Katie?" She asked, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"Mom!" Katie exclaimed, embarrassed. "I don't want to talk to you about that. It's weird."

"Well, I just want to know when you're going to find a guy as sweet as Jimmy. I want grandkids someday you know!" She said, laughing. Katie's face turned bright red.

"Mom, I'm only seventeen. Shouldn't you be the one telling me to wait until I finish high school at least?" Katie asked, rolling her eyes.

"I'm not getting any younger, Kates. I want to be a fun grandma! How am I supposed to be fun if I'm too old to do anything?" She asked, getting up from her chair. Katie ignored her question.

"Why do you still have your flight attendant uniform on?" Katie asked, knowing the answer.

"Oh, I have another flight to catch tonight. You'll be fine, won't you?" She spoke as she walked toward the door to get her suitcase.

"Yeah, sure." Katie said, disappointedly.

"Well, I better get going! I should be back tomorrow morning. So, I'll see you when you get home from school?" She asked, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She proceeded to give Sandra a hug and kiss. As she walked by Jimmy she stopped.

"Don't think I'm going to leave you out!" She said as she gave him a hug.

"Have a good time, Mrs. Halloway!" Jimmy waved as he stuffed another cookie into his mouth.

"Love you kids!" She blew them a kiss before shutting the door.

"Oh God, my mom is so embarrassing!" Katie put her head down on the table. Sandra patted her on the back.

"I'd trade moms with you in a heartbeat." Sandra said, consolingly. "At least your mom wants you to be happy. My parents don't care as long as I go to college and make a lot of money to support them when they get old."

Katie lifted her head up. "But, does she have to be so annoying about it? I mean, she practically begs me to get pregnant all the time. Like when I have a kid it's going to be all about her." Katie jumped off the chair and walked over to the refrigerator. She got a glass of milk and sat back down. "On top of that, she's barely ever here!" Katie said between gulps.

"Being an American teenager is complicated, isn't it?" Jimmy asked sitting down in the chair next to Sandra.

"You have no idea." Both girls said in unison.

Later that night, when Sandra walked into her apartment, she felt like she was ambushed. Almost immediately, her mom came out of the kitchen asking if she called the clinic yet. Her dad came down the stairs, staring at her, waiting for an answer.

"I tried calling. No one answered." Sandra said quietly.

"You know, you're wasting time. It's obviously too late to call tonight, but if you don't do it soon it will be too late." Her mom scolded her, not moving. Sandra couldn't help but think, 'maybe I want it to be too late.'

"You'll call tomorrow." Her mom said, turning back to walk into the kitchen.

"Tomorrow I have school, and softball practice after that. I won't get done until at least four." Sandra stalled.

"Then the next day." Her mom said without hesitation.

"The next day is Saturday. The clinics won't be open." Sandra called after her.

"They'll be open until noon." Her dad interjected before heading back upstairs.

Sandra stood in the dining room, motionless for a few moments. She didn't know what to feel. She didn't know what to do. All of a sudden, she felt exhausted. She made her way to her room. She sat at her vanity and stared into the mirror. She found herself going into a dazed state.

She couldn't help but remember something someone once told her. You are what you stand up for. She couldn't remember who said it, but the words ran through her mind clear as day. She stared into the mirror wondering, 'what should I stand up for?' She felt lost. She picked up her phone and flipped it open. She realized it was midnight, what had she been doing for the past two hours? She dialed Jimmy's number. He answered in a groggy voice.

"Hello?"

"Jimmy, I'm scared." Sandra said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Calm down, Love. What happened?" Jimmy sounded wide awake now.

"What should I do?" She asked, her voice cracking.

"Whatever you want. I don't want to force you to do anything." Jimmy said hesitantly.

"Well this is your problem, too!" Sandra exclaimed, trying to keep her voice low.

"I know, but I'll support you in whatever you do. You know that." Jimmy said defensively.

"How do you plan on supporting me? With that minimum wage job at that junkyard? You can barely afford to pay your rent on that studio apartment, nevermind all the money you shell out to keep that crappy car running!" Sandra was crying now.

"First of all, ten dollars an hour is hardly minimum wage. Second of all, it's not a junkyard, it's an autobody shop. And third of all, if I'm not good enough for ya then just get the bloody abortion and be done with me." He said, angrily.

"Fine!" Sandra slammed the phone shut and threw it into her closet. She got up and took her sneakers and skirt off and practically fell into bed. She didn't remember falling asleep, but the next thing she knew her mom was knocking on the door.

"Time to get up; don't make me come by a third time."

She lay in bed for a moment, thinking of her dream from the night before. She dreamed she was surrounded by faceless soldiers. They were in the middle of a war of some sort. She couldn't tell if they were men or women. She felt lost as she turned in a circle trying to find out where she was. Her eyes rested on a huge brick wall that her side was obviously trying to keep up.

Finally, she heard someone shouting. It was a woman's voice. Sandra looked in the direction of the woman shouting. She seemed to be the leader, the commander. "Reinforce those strongholds! If the wall falls then this fight is over!" Sandra heard the commander shout. As Sandra tried to see her face, the commander turned away from her. Then it was over.

Sandra finally got up and commenced her usual morning routine. She picked up her phone out of the closet and saw ten missed calls and five text messages. She deleted them without reading them. She walked downstairs and put her Old Navy hoodie on. She pulled the hood up as she walked out the door.

Before she was even at the end of her walkway, it started to downpour. Sandra didn't mind walking in the rain anyway. She got halfway down the street when she saw the oh-so-familiar Chrysler Lebaron. She just kept walking with her head down.

Jimmy could barely see out his windows because it was raining so hard. He saw a girl walking by, but wasn't completely sure it was Sandra. He wanted to at least apologize for snapping at her last night. He turned the key in the ignition and just as he was about to pull out onto the street, another car drove up and slowed down beside the girl. He recognized it as Sandra's mom's. When the car pulled away, Sandra was gone. He waited for another twenty minutes, just to make sure it was really her. He texted Katie to make sure she didn't need a ride either. When he didn't get a response in ten minutes, he decided to leave and go to work.

He pulled up un front of the garage. He sat there for a moment. When he looked out the windows of the car, he couldn't see anything. He felt secluded from the rest of the world. He didn't take his hands off the steering wheel. He squeezed it until his knuckles were white. He could feel himself being filled with anger, anger toward himself. He shouldn't have snapped at Sandra. She's pregnant, pregnant women are hormonal. He should have tried more to calm her down instead of yelling at her.

Now he didn't even know if she would talk to him again. How could he be so stupid? He punched his steering wheel as hard as he could. He leaned back in his seat and covered his face with his hands. He took a deep breath and was slightly startled when he heard a knock on the window. He looked over but could only barely see a shadow outside. He reached over and unlocked the door. The person opened the door and climbed inside. It was Vinny. He was soaked.

"What's going on, man?" He asked, sounding worried.

"I think I messed up." He said, putting his head down on the steering wheel. "Sandra called me last night asking me what to do and she started going on about how I wouldn't be able to support her so I snapped and told her to get the damn abortion and leave me alone."

"Wow." Vinny sounded surprised. He had his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

He exhaled sharply. "You think she's going to do it?"

"I don't know. She won't talk to me. She didn't answer any of my calls or messages. She completely ignored me this morning when I tried to drive her to school." Jimmy didn't pick his head up.

"Maybe it's better this way. You're better off with someone your own age anyway, man." Vinny said, putting his hand on Jimmy's shoulder.

"No," Jimmy started, shrugging Vinny's hand off his shoulder. "I'll never do better than Sandra. I'll never feel for anyone else what I feel for her." His eyes glistened as he picked his head up.