chapter 5

"I don't even know where to start." Sandra said, talking to herself.

"Start off by telling me what your mom said!" Katie said, anxiously.

Sandra proceeded to tell her how her parents reacted the day she told them and how they had acted up to today. She couldn't help herself from crying. She didn't know if it was from the stress or the hormones, but she hated it just the same.

"So, your parents are forcing you to get an abortion?" Katie asked incredulously. "It should be your decision! It's not fair for them to just tell you how to live your life!" Katie sat up as she spoke almost passionately about Sandra's rights.

"Well, they aren't exactly forcing me. My mom said just to make the appointment and when the time comes, if I don't want to do it I don't have to." Sandra explained, half heartedly.

"Well I guess that's reasonable." Katie said sounding unsure. "It sounds like a trick to me though." She said, leaning back on her elbows.

"Well, right now I really don't have a choice. My English teacher figured out what was going on a couple weeks ago and she kept me after class. She told me that I probably wouldn't know what I really wanted to do until I was actually faced with the situation." Sandra explained.

"Well now that you put it that way, it does sound pretty reasonable. Just make sure you do what you want." She said laying back on the pillow. Sandra laid back next to her and told her about the fight with Jimmy.

"Oh my God! He really said that?" Katie asked in disbelief.

"Yepp." Sandra said, not saying anything else. They laid there in silence for about ten minutes.

"So are you going to call Jimmy?" Katie asked, hesitating.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just going to give him some space until I figure out what's going on." She said pulling her teddy bear into her arms and hugging it. Reaching to the foot of the bed, Sandra grabbed the remote control to her CD player and turned it on. The Fray's lyrics filled the room as the two girls lay there in silence.

Sandra spent the whole weekend at Katie's. Katie's mom knew there was something wrong, but didn't want to pry. On Saturday, Katie's mom brought them to the movies. She offered to sit in a different row but the girls insisted that she sit with them.

Sandra really liked Katie's mom. Katie's mom had been in her life so long, Sandra considered her a second mother. She was easy to talk to and most of the time tried to act like "one of the girls". Katie was always annoyed by it, but Sandra didn't mind.

"So, what do you girls want for dinner?" Katie's mom asked as they got into the car after the movie.

"How about spaghetti and meatballs?" Sandra suggested.

"Okay, want to come to the store with me?" She asked, hopefully. The girls agreed to go, so they stopped at Walmart on the way home.

"Hey mom, do you mind if we look around at the clothes while you get the groceries?" Katie asked before adding, "Please, please, please?"

"Alright," Her mom said sounding a little disappointed. "I'll come get you when I'm ready to get in line."

Katie and Sandra began looking through the clothes and picking random articles of clothing out.

"Oh my God! You should wear this!" Katie exclaimed as she held up a white button up shirt with ruffles on the front of the shirt and at the bottom of each sleeve.

"Mahhhvelous!" Sandra laughed. "And this for you!" She said, holding up a neon orange body suit. The two girls doubled over laughing. They continued to pick out ridiculous outfits for each other. After about ten minutes of that, Katie gasped.

"Look at this dress! Seriously!" It was a pink sundress with large white polka dots. It had spaghetti straps and appeared to come to a few inches above the knee. "You have to try it on!" Katie urged, looking for Sandra's size. Finally, she pulled it out. Katie pulled Sandra to the dressing room and practically pushed her into the room as she waited outside. After a few minutes, Katie's mom walked up.

"Where's Sandra?" She asked, looking around. Then, Sandra came out of the dressing room. Katie's jaw dropped.

"You have to get that dress! It fits you perfectly!" She exclaimed, smiling.

"I don't have any money." Sandra said sadly.

"Go change and give me the dress." Katie's mom ordered her. With a smile, Sandra did as she was told. When she came out, Katie's mom held her hand out, waiting for Sandra to hand her the dress.

"Are you sure?" Sandra asked hesitantly.

"Positive." She responded, grabbing the dress from her.

When they got home, Katie's mom went straight to the kitchen. The girls followed behind. Katie grabbed two pots from the pot rack and put them on the stove. Katie's mom instructed them on what to do. Katie diced up the peppers while Sandra mixed the hamburger meat for meatballs. Katie's mom kept the conversation going for a while as she put the water on to boil.

"You know what singer I like?" She asked, and without waiting for a response, she answered. "Taylor Swift. She is just such a talented girl."

"Oh, she's my favorite!" Sandra agreed enthusiastically.

"Sometimes I feel like she writes her songs just for me!" Katie chimed in.

"I know!" Sandra said, excitedly.

Katie's mom ran out of the kitchen, excited about something. She came running back in with Katie's portable radio. She rummaged through the Walmart shopping bag and pulled out a CD. She put it on and the girls realized it was the new Taylor Swift CD. All three of them began singing along to the songs.

"Taylor Swift makes everything better." Sandra stated smiling.

Katie and her mom both nodded in agreement. When they finished preparing the food to be cooked, the three of them began dancing around the kitchen while waiting for the food to cook. Sandra had such a good time she almost forgot about all of her problems.

When the pasta was done boiling, the meat sauce was done simmering and the meatballs were done baking, Katie's mom served the two girls. She joked around, acting like the girls were at a five star Italian restaurant. She spoke in her best Italian, which was very poor, but none of them knew the difference anyway.

"Ah, Signorina!" She exclaimed to Katie as she scooped some pasta on her plate. "Spaghetti per ti!" and then she turned to Sandra. "E per ti!"

Both girls were laughing. After she finished serving the girls, Katie's mom brought the garlic bread and sat down with her own plate. For a few minutes, the room was quiet except for the scraping of forks against plates and the Taylor Swift CD quietly playing in the background. Sandra broke the silence.

"This is really good spaghetti!" She said as she finished a mouthful.

"Thank you, Sandra. I may not be very skilled at cooking many things, but I must admit that my spaghetti and meatballs dish is pretty amazing." She laughed as she finished her statement.

"I'll agree with that!" Katie said with a mouthful of food.

"So when is your next flight?" Sandra asked.

"Unfortunately, tomorrow morning." Katie's mom answered sounding sad. Katie didn't say anything, but her face dropped a little as if she were disappointed.

"But, the good news is they gave me two free tickets to Puerto Rico, first class, and all next week off!" Katie's mom announced, pulling two plane tickets out of her purse.

"Oh my God!" Katie jumped up, grabbing the tickets. "You're so awesome, mom! How did you get these?" She asked, studying the tickets.

"I was attendant of the month for three months in a row, so they gave me a bonus." Her mom said, modestly.

"What about school?" Katie asked, her smile fading.

"You'll be alright with missing a few days, won't you?" Her mom asked, putting the tickets back in her purse.

"I promise to do well in school!" Katie said excitedly, hugging her mom. "Too bad you can't come, Sandra." Katie said disappointedly.

"I tried to get three tickets, but they said I was pushing my luck even getting two." Katie's mom explained.

"It's alright." Sandra said consolingly. "My parents probably wouldn't let me go anyway." She said, stabbing the spaghetti with her fork.

After dinner, the girls helped clean up. Katie's mom had to go to bed early because her flight left at six the next morning. Katie and Sandra went to Katie's room after saying goodnight. Katie ended up painting Sandra's nails as they sat there talking.

"So tell me more about Bill!" Sandra said, picking out a sparkly pink nail polish.

"Well," Katie started with a wide smile on her face. "He's really nice. I fell down at the roller skating place and he helped me up. He's a skater boy, too!" She said as she painted Sandra's index finger.

"After he helped me up, he asked if he could buy me a soda. We sat there talking almost the whole night. We talked about everything, it seems like! Then toward the end of the night I said I wanted to do another round on the skate floor, so we did. Right after we started skating, he held my hand!" Katie squealed. "He held my hand the whole time around, and I kind of stumbled at the end. He caught me, but I had already fallen on my knee. He brought me over near the bathroom and he wiped it off with a wet paper towel and got a bandaid for me. Then, he walked me outside to wait for my mom and he kissed me. We made out for like a good ten minutes before we heard my mom honking!" Katie laughed as she said it excitedly.

"Oh my gosh! You're so lucky! You get all the action, sometimes I wish I were single so I could go out and make out with guys! So is that as far as he went, just making out?" Sandra asked with her eyebrow raised, almost knowing the answer.

"Pretty much." Katie said blushing, then she lightly slapped Sandra's arm. "And by the way, technically, you are single right now!"

"No details, huh?" Sandra asked, disappointedly, as Katie finished her left hand. She ignored her second statement.

"Fine, the only details I'll tell you is that, yes he went further. He put his hand up my shirt, but over the bra." She said matter of factly, trying not to look too embarrassed. " And, he is the best kisser ever!" She said, emphasizing the word "ever". "He made my knees feel weak."

"Wow, that good huh?" Sandra asked, blowing on her nails.

"Tomorrow we should hang out with him and I'll tell him to bring one of his friends for you!" Katie suggested excitedly.

Sandra agreed before asking her next question. "So when did he ask you out?"

"He asked me out last Sunday." She said, dipping the brush back into the nail polish. "He took me out to Texas Roadhouse!" She exclaimed.

"Oh, wow!" Sandra said, surprised. "Texas Roadhouse is one of my favorites!"

"He is so sweet! He wouldn't let me pay for anything. He's only one year older. I've hung out with him like four times this week." Katie went on, almost glowing.

After the girls finished painting each other's nails they went to bed. Sandra didn't exactly dream, but images of Jimmy kept flashing in front of her. She felt as if she were watching a slideshow. With every picture that flashed through her mind, it seemed that the pictures got dimmer and dimmer until eventually, there were no more pictures. She started to worry, then she felt as if she having anxiety attack. She wanted to look for the pictures and start them again, but she couldn't move. She woke up to Katie talking on the phone. Looking at the digital clock on the bedside table, she realized it was already past eleven in the morning.

"Well, I was just thinking that maybe you and I could hang out again today." Sandra heard Katie ask in her most flirty voice.

Sandra got up and ran her fingers through her hair as she followed where Katie's voice was. She found her in the dining room downstairs. She was sitting at the dining room table on the house phone. The smile that was on her face when Sandra first came downstairs seemed to be fading.

"But, I thought you said," Katie started but was apparently cut off.

"So you were basically just," Katie began again, but with the same result. Sandra could see her eyes welling up.

"Well, yes I guess just friends is okay." Katie said trying to keep her voice steady. Sandra couldn't take anymore of this. She pulled the phone out of Katie's hand and hung it up on the wall.

"You didn't have to just sit there while he made you feel like crap. You deserve better." Sandra explained as she sat down next to her. Katie's eyes filled up and overflowed. She began crying and she leaned into Sandra as Sandra put her arms around her.

"I thought he was different. He really seemed different." Katie cried.

"They always do seem different." Sandra said.

"How could I be so stupid? I thought he wanted to be serious. He said all he was looking for was a quick lay and that it was taking too long to get into my pants. Then he said he still wants to be my friend." Katie said, sounding astounded.

"He's just a perv. That's all any guy wants. They want no strings and quick satisfaction. You're too good for him anyway." Sandra consoled her as she brushed her fingers through Katie's hair. "You'll find better I know it."

"You really think so?" Katie said, picking her head up to look at Sandra.

"I know so." Sandra said smiling.

"Okay." Katie said, standing up and smiling a little. "Let's get ready and go out! My mom left us forty dollars with this note." Katie said, walking toward the stairs. Sandra looked at the note. It read 'hey girls, didn't want to wake you. Do something fun today! See you later tonight. xOx' and she signed 'Mom' through a heart on the bottom.

Sandra went upstairs to get her stuff ready while Katie was taking a shower. She pulled her hygiene bag out of her backpack and went to the closet to get a towel. Sandra heard the shower turn off, but knew Katie would take a few minutes longer to brush her teeth and get dressed. Katie came out of the bathroom brushing her wavy brown hair.

"Took you long enough!" Sandra joked as she walked past Katie.

Sandra took longer than usual in the shower. For about ten minutes, she stood under the stream of water with her eyes closed. She tried not to think of anything but the warm water hitting her face. Finally, she turned off the water and dried herself off with the towel. With the towel wrapped around her, she wiped the mirror with her hand and brushed her long blonde hair.

After Sandra finished brushing her teeth, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was beginning to curl up and she tried brushing it straight. The curls kept popping back up, so she grabbed the hair dryer and dried her hair. After straightening her hair and putting on her makeup, she came out of the bathroom to get dressed.

As Katie locked the front door of her apartment, Sandra tried to think of where they could go. It was beginning to frustrate her because everywhere she thought of to go reminded her of Jimmy somehow. She almost suggested the carnival, but it made her think of the ferris wheel.

That was where they first kissed. It was memorable to her because they got stuck at the top and Sandra began to worry. She was almost in tears and nothing Jimmy said would calm her down, so he pulled her face toward his and kissed her. When he pulled away from her, Sandra stared at him, dazed. Then the ferris wheel began to move.

Then she thought of going to the beach. The beach reminded Sandra of Jimmy because it was where they were first introduced. Sandra went to the beach with Katie and they saw Katie's older cousin Vinny. They sat with Vinny and he introduced them to all of his friends. He called Jimmy 'the Mick.'

Next, Sandra almost suggested just driving around, but then she realized that it was Jimmy that always drove. She was about to say they should go get some pizza at Papa Gino's, but it reminded her of when Jimmy used to let her throw the dough in the air when he worked there. Place after place went through Sandra's mind, and place after place was rejected with a memory of Jimmy. 'Damn him! Why did he have to be so spontaneous?' Sandra thought as she realized he was always suggesting new things to try. Finally, she thought of probably the only thing he had never brought her to.

"Let's go play pool!" Sandra suggested excitedly.

It was about a thirty minute walk to get to the pool hall. It was an arcade during the day and a bar at night. If you were under eighteen and didn't get in before eight p.m., they wouldn't let you in. Sandra had never gone there with Jimmy, she'd never seen him there, and he never told her stories about when he went there, so in theory, she wouldn't be reminded of him.

The girls got there at three in the afternoon. The first thing they did after walking in was rent a locker to leave their jackets in. While they were standing at the locker, Sandra noticed Katie checking out a boy standing kind of close to them.

"Go talk to him." Sandra said, nudging her.

"No!" Katie giggled. "I'm too shy." Katie said informatively.

"Oh whatever." Sandra rolled her eyes as she slammed the locker door shut and pulled out the key.

"So we should get something to eat first because we didn't eat before we left and I'm starving!" Sandra said emphatically.

"Okay, so a late lunch. Or early dinner. What would you call that? Dinch, Supunch, Linner?" Katie began to list off possible combinations of the two words.

"Who cares!" Sandra cried, laughing, as she pulled Katie toward the snack counter.

They ordered two hamburgers and a large side of fries. As they were sitting at the table waiting for the food, Sandra saw the boy Katie was checking out. He was walking by the table and looking at Katie. When Sandra looked at Katie she realized Katie was staring back with a smirk on her face.

"You little slut!" Sandra joked, taking a sip of her Dr. Pepper.

"What?" Katie asked, feigning innocence.

"I'll bet you anything that you're going to make out with him by the end of the night." Sandra said, almost daring Katie.

"Oh, please, you don't know me!" Katie said, using a fake southern accent. "Don't judge me!"

Sandra laughed as the waitress put the food down on the table. The girls didn't talk much as they ate. Sandra noticed that at least three times, the boy from earlier walked by the table. Every time, she'd look at Katie, who would be pretending she didn't notice him.

After they ate, Katie went to the games counter to rent a pool table. She gave him ten dollars, which covered two hours. Katie and Sandra set the table up, arguing about the placement of the balls and who would go first. Finally, Sandra gave in and let Katie break.

They tried to play a game by the general rules, but began to make up their own rules as they played. By the start of the second game, both girls were laughing so hard they could barely shoot straight. At the end of the second game, the boy that had been walking by them every so often walked up to the table.

"Hey I'm Greg." He said, leaning against the pool table next to Katie.

"Hi." Katie answered with a wide smile on her face.

Sandra laughed quietly to herself as Katie giggled. She thought if Katie smiled any wider her face would split in half. Katie's face seemed to be glowing. Sandra thought it was cute when Katie was attracted to a guy because Katie acted like a completely different person around them.

"Would you mind if me and my friend over there played pool with you?" He asked, looking at both girls. He pointed at another boy standing by the snack counter waiting on a drink.

"Not at all!" Katie said with no hesitation.

He went to talk to his friend as Katie and Sandra finished their game. As the girls set the table up, Sandra laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" Katie asked with an unsure smile.

"You're just so cute when you're around cute guys. You get all bubbly." Sandra explained.

"I can't help it! I get so nervous, and you know I laugh and smile when I get nervous." Katie said, pouting.

Before Sandra could respond, she saw Greg and his friend walking toward them. They each had a pool stick in their hands. She thought Greg's friend was alright looking, but couldn't help but feel as if she would be betraying Jimmy by giving him a chance.

"So, I figured maybe we could play mixed teams. Me and you against Tim and your friend." Greg said to Katie as he got to the table.

"Sure." Katie agreed, trying not to smile as wide as before. "Oh, by the way, this is Sandra. She's newly single." Katie added almost in a singsong voice.

Greg and Tim both smiled as they said hi to Sandra. Tim walked around the table to stand with Sandra as Greg began speaking softly to Katie. Sandra was so immersed in her effort to hear what Greg was saying that she almost missed what Tim had said to her.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Sandra asked, turning to look at him.

"I asked if you come here often." He asked, then added, "Are you okay? You seem distracted."

"Oh, I'm fine. We come here every once in a while, but not very often." Sandra answered his question quickly.

"Oh, that's cool." He said, trying to keep her interested in him, but failing. There was a short awkward silence between the two before Greg spoke aloud.

"Okay, me and Katie will break. We'll play stripes and solids." He said, sounding as if he played pool a lot.

"So, how old are you guys?" Katie asked aloud.

"We're eighteen." Greg answered.

"What about you?" Tim added, looking at Sandra.

"We're seventeen." She said quietly.

Sandra began to loosen up as the night progressed. She tried not to think of Jimmy, but if she wasn't actively having a conversation, she would catch herself thinking of him. At one point she caught herself smiling, thinking about some of the sweet things he'd done recently.

Greg and Tim ended up paying for two more hours with the pool table and also bought dinner. Sandra noticed that Katie was flirting with Greg more and more as she got more comfortable. She knew Tim tried to flirt with her, but for some reason she felt no attraction to him. She felt as if there were no spark.

At about eight o'clock, they finished playing pool. Greg tried to impress Katie by getting her a stuffed animal from the claw machine. It took him an hour in addition to about thirty dollars to finally hold on to a penguin stuffed animal.

"It's so cute!" Katie thanked him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "It's my first penguin stuffed animal! I think I'll name him Gregory."

Greg put his arm around Katie's shoulders as they started walking. They walked a few feet in front of Sandra and Tim. Tim walked beside Sandra, but not too close. She could hear Katie giggling as Greg whispered things to her. Tim was quiet for a while.

"He's a lucky guy." Tim finally broke the silence.

"Greg? I don't think he realizes what he's getting into with Katie." Sandra laughed, knowing Katie was very emotional.

"No, I meant the guy that's been occupying your mind all night. I see the way you smile every once in a while, and if there's one thing I've learned about girls, it's the way a girl smiles when she's thinking about a guy." He said, looking at his hands.

"Yeah, well he used to be. I think he may have lost his four leaf clover, though, because lately he hasn't seemed so lucky."

Tim didn't respond, almost reading Sandra's mind that she really didn't want him to. She wanted some tranquility to think. By the time they reached Katie's house it was almost ten thirty. They sat on Katie's tiny front porch for a while. Katie brought out a bowl of chips and soda for everyone.

"It's a little cold out here." Greg said, scooting closer to Katie.

"Yeah, it's not as bad as usual for this time of year, though." Katie said, completely oblivious to his hint.

Tim sat in a lawn chair and quietly sipped his soda. Every so often, he'd add a funny comment or remark to something someone said. Even though she was surrounded by people, Sandra felt lonely. She felt as if she weren't complete. She tried to laugh and pay attention to what was going on, but as she got tired, her emotions got the best of her. She caught herself staring at the can of soda feeling almost numb. Finally, at eleven, Greg and Tim got up to leave.

"I had fun." Greg said, looking at Katie. "Can I see you tomorrow?"

"No." Katie put on the most serious face she could muster. She hesitated before adding, "I'm going to Puerto Rico tomorrow for the week. But you can see me next Monday." Katie said with her sweet smile.

"It's a date." Greg said, giving Katie a hug.

Greg said goodbye to Sandra. Tim waved to both girls as they began to walk away.

"Oh my God!" Katie cried when they were out of ear's reach. "He's absolutely perfect!"

"Every guy you meet is perfect until you get to know them." Sandra said, bursting Katie's bubble.

"Whatever. Don't be all grumpy with me because you're upset about losing your boyfriend." Katie crossed her arms across her chest, giving Sandra an attitude.

"You're right." Sandra said defeatedly. "I'm sorry. I have to go though. My parents are going to flip that I'm coming home so late." Sandra gave Katie a hug before turning to walk away.

"I'll write you an email everyday, okay?" Katie called before Sandra got too far.

"Okay, have fun!" Sandra turned and walked backward as she waved, putting on her best smile.